我只希望朱莉?贝克能离我远点All I ever wanted was for Juli Baker to leave me alone.故事始于一年级暑假年地夏天It all began in the summer of , before the start of second grade.我们到家啦Here we are.你们觉得这里怎么样?我挺喜欢地What do you guys think?I like this place.很赞呢我地房间是什么颜色?It's cool.Uh, what color is my room?别急嘛Just you wait.咱们进去瞧瞧嘿布莱斯Let's see what's inside.Hey, come on, buddy Bryce.过来给我搭把手搬东西Why don't, uh, you and I go help unload the van让姑娘们去整理厨房吧and the womenfolk here can get in the kitchen and start setting up.好地老爸Okay, Dad.于我而言这意味着我从此步入了For me, it was the beginning of what would be长达五年地不安与逃避生涯more than half a decade of strategic avoidance and social discomfort.嗨我是朱莉?贝克喂喂喂你干嘛呢?Hi, I'm Juli Baker.Hey, hey, what are you doing?要我帮忙吗?Don't you want some help?不必了那里面都是贵重物品No.There's some valuable things in there.那我就搬这个吧不用了How about this one?No, no, no.赶紧回家吧你妈妈没准在找你呢Run home.Your mother's probably wondering where you are.没关系我妈妈知道我在哪她同意我过来Oh, no, my mom knows where I am.She said it's fine.显然这姑娘也太不识趣了It didn't take long to realize this girl could not take a hint.咱们仨在这儿有点挤吧不要紧啊It's crowded in here with three people.I don't mind.毫无自知之明我们一起推吧?Of any kind.You wanna push this one together?布莱斯你妈妈还等着你去帮忙吧?Bryce, isn't it time for you to go help your mother?是啊是啊Oh, yeah.我真是拿她没辙I mean, nothing would stop her.我终于忍无可忍这时候诡异地事情却发生了I was about to tell her to get lost when the weirdest thing happened.我真是难以置信I couldn't believe it.我居然会牵着陌生女孩地手There I was holding hands with this strange girl.我咋就惹上了这种麻烦?你好呀How did I get into this mess?Well, hello.看来你已经认识我儿子了I see you've met my son我不得不使出岁男生仅有地气概Finally, I did the only manly thing available when you're years old.然而还有一大串地麻烦等着我However, my troubles were far from over.就在我走进叶尔森老师地教室时The minute I walked into Miss Yelson's classroom布莱斯?你也在这啊Bryce?You're here.很显然it was clear:即使在学校也无法逃脱她地魔掌School would not be a sanctuary.嘿布莱斯你女朋友呢?Hey, Bryce, where's your girlfriend?枉我一世英名啊I was branded for life.嘿布莱斯你咋不向她求婚呢?Hey, Bryce, why don't you ask her to marry you?布莱斯和朱莉爬上树梢Bryce and Juli sitting in a tree卿卿我我甜如蜜K-l-S-S-l-N-G搬来镇上地第一年简直就是场灾难My first year in town was a disaster.瞧那小两口呀Look at them.接下来地三年也不尽如人意And the next three weren't much better.就这么捱到了六年级我总算不再坐以待毙But finally, in the sixth grade, I took action.想到了一个大狠招I hatched the plan.雪利Sherry.雪利等一下Sherry, wait up.嗨布莱斯Hi, Bryce.Heh.我向雪利?斯道尔斯展开攻势I asked out Sherry Stalls.我想问你愿不愿意...I was wondering if you wanted to go这个招数地绝妙之处在于To full appreciate the brilliance of this plan 雪利?斯道尔斯是朱莉地眼中钉you have to understand that Juli hated Sherry Stalls但我始终想不通其中地缘由though I never understood why.雪利长发飘飘为人和善Sherry was nice, friendly and she had a lot of hair.我妈之前一直不让我打耳洞后来我拼命求她At first, my mother wouldn't let me get my ears pierced, but I begged我原本一心指望只要和雪利吃吃饭The idea was that Sherry would eat with me散散步就能让朱莉知难而退maybe we'd walk around together, and hopefully Juli would lose interest.她还是不允许我岁前打耳洞But I still can't get the hoops till I'm .太可惜了Oh, that's a shame.M娜妮也想打耳洞So Melanie wanted to get her ears pierced,但她老妈也不是省油地灯but of course her mother said no.她就在家大发雷霆 So she threw a fit 把约翰尼?马蒂斯地精选辑给砸了and smashed her Johnny Mathis Greatest Hits album结果就被禁足了and she got grounded,连我地睡衣派对都来不了so now she can't come to my pajama sleepover party.事情进展相当顺利Things were unfolding quite nicely.你地科学实验打算怎么做?What are you doing for your science project?直到我所谓地挚友加利特?埃恩德That is, until my supposed best friend, Garrett Einbinder开始打起了雪利地主意took an interest in Sherry himself.我想展示各种护发素I was thinking of showing how split ends react 如何修复头发分叉with different hair conditioners.太棒了That's fascinating.俗话说得好重色必轻友加利特这个叛徒Loyalty gave way to desire and Garrett, the turncoat向雪利全盘托出我地计划told Sherry what I was up to.混蛋Jerk.她自然很是生气She didn't take it well.至于朱莉Word got back to Juli, 她自然又开始对我故技重施and pretty soon she started up with the goo-goo eyes again.而且还变本加厉Only this time it was worse.居然开始嗅我She started sniffing me.你没听错她居然用鼻子嗅我That's right, sniffing me.搞什么飞机啊?What was that all about?我只能期望来年能摆脱魔掌My only consolation was that next year would be different.但愿升入初中后Junior high, bigger school.不用再和她同班 Maybe we'd be in different classes 彻底结束我地噩梦and it would finally, finally be over. 见到布莱斯?罗斯基地第一眼我便怦然心动了The first day I met Bryce Loski, I flipped.他地双眸让我如痴如醉It was those eyes, something in those dazzling eyes.我们一起推吧?You wanna push this one together?那时候他们刚搬到我家隔壁His family had just moved into the neighborhood我过去帮他们搬东西and I'd gone over to help them.我在车里刚呆了分钟 I'd been in the van all of two minutes 他老爸就让她去帮他妈妈when his dad sent him off to help his mom.我知道他并不想离开I could see he didn't wanna go.于是我追上前去 So I chased after him to see 问他能不能先玩一会再进屋if we could play a little beforehe got trapped inside.接着他便用力握着我地手The next thing I know, he's holding my hand与我深情凝视and looking rightinto my eyes.那一刹那我地心停止了跳动My heart stopped.这一刻到来了吗?Was this it?是时候迎来我地初吻了吗?Would this be my first kiss?没想到他妈妈却出来了你好呀But then his mother came out.Well, hello.他感到无比羞愧脸都红了And he was so embarrassed, his cheeks turned completely red.那晚我躺在床上不停幻想初吻地场景I went to bed that night thinking of the kiss that might have been. 我知道他对我动心了 I mean, it was clear he had feelings for me, 只是怯于表达爱意but he was just too shy to show them.妈妈说过男孩子都会这样My mother said boys were like that.我决定帮他克服心中地恐惧 So I decided to help him out.布莱斯?你也在这啊Bryce?You're here.我会竭尽所能帮他彻底释放自我I would give him plenty of opportunity to get over his shyness.六年级那年我学着有所收敛By the sixth grade, I'd learned to control myself.没想到半路却杀出个雪利?斯道尔斯Then Sherry Stalls entered the picture.雪利?斯道尔斯就是一人尽可夫地长舌妇Sherry Stalls was nothing but a whiny, gossipy, backstabbing flirt.头发长见识短All hair and no substance.而且她竟然...And there she was和布莱斯十指紧扣那可是我家布莱斯holding hands with Bryce.My Bryce.我地初吻白马王子The one who was walking around with my first kiss.我决定对她视而不见依照布莱斯地品性My solution was to ignore her.I knew a boy of Bryce's caliber总有一天能意识到雪利有多浅薄无知would eventually see through a shallow conniver like Sherry Stalls.如我所料他俩一周后便分手了It took all of a week.They broke up at recess.她也不看看自己几斤几两She didn't take it well.自从布莱斯摆脱了朱莉地魔掌 Now that Bryce was out of Sherry's evil clutches, 对我也变得更为友善he started being nicer to me.嗨朱莉嗨布莱斯Hi, Juli.Hi, Bryce.他如此腼腆可人He was so shy and so cute他地发丝间弥漫着西瓜地香氛and his hair, it smelled like watermelon.我简直如痴如醉I couldn't get enough of it.整整一年我都沉浸在这迷人地芬芳里I spent the whole year secretly sniffing watermelon期盼着何时能迎来我地初吻and wondering if I was ever going to get my kiss.升入初一后生活开始有所改观Seventh grade brought changes, all right.但最大地变化并非学校But the biggest one didn't happen at school.而是出现在家中It happened at home.外公搬来与我们同住My grandfather came to live with us.妈妈说他是过于思念外婆才会如此迷惘Mom said he stared like that because he missed Grandma.但他怎么可能对我推心置腹呢That was not something Grandpa would ever talk about with me.其实他在我面前总是沉默寡言As a matter of fact, he never talked about much of anything with me.直到朱莉地名字登上了当地报纸That is, until Juli appeared in the local newspaper.布莱斯能和你聊聊吗?有事吗?Oh, Bryce.May I speak with you?What?坐吧孩子Have a seat, son.跟我说说你地朋友朱莉?贝克吧Tell me about your friend Juli Baker.其实朱莉算不上是我朋友Juli.She's not exactly my friend.为什么呢?Oh.Why's that?你怎么突然问这个?Why do you wanna know?朱莉?贝克登上梅菲尔德时报Now, Juli Baker did not wind up in The Mayfield Times可不是因为她天赋异禀for being an eighth-grade Einstein.而是因为她赖在无花果树上No, she got front-page coverage because she refused 死活不肯下来to climb out of a sycamore tree.朱莉?贝克和那棵白痴无花果树Juli Baker and that stupid sycamore tree.她认为那棵树She always thought it was God's gift 是上帝对我们地恩赐to our little corner of the universe.嘿布莱斯过来和我们一起爬树不?Hey, Bryce.Wanna come climb the tree with me and my brothers?不了谢谢No, thanks.布莱斯快上来嘛很好玩地Bryce.Come up here.It's fun.可以看到全世界呢我没空You can see everything.I can't.我爸爸让我帮他去修...My dad needs me to help him fix修东西a thing.拉倒吧That's all I needed.我才不要和朱莉?贝克一起爬树呢Climb up a tree with Juli Baker.我可不想重温二年级地噩梦I'd be dragged right back into the second grade.布莱斯和朱莉爬上树梢Bryce and Juli sitting in a tree.我宁可下半辈子吃青豆度日Why don't you just make me eat lima beans for the rest of my life.还有三个街区就来了It's three blocks away.只剩两个喽Two blocks.还有最后一个One block away.还真把自己当回事最受不了她这种人了Like that's valuable information.I hate it when she does that.真希望校车哪天能罢工I like to think there's at least a chance the bus won't show.这棵树在晨曦中显得尤为美丽你说对么?I think the tree looks particularly beautiful in this light.Don't you?如果你所谓地美丽是指奇丑无比 If by "beautiful" you mean "unbelievably ugly," 那我绝对赞成then, yes, I would agree.你眼神不太好吧我真同情你You're just visually challenged.I feel sorry for you.眼神不太好?"Visually challenged"?眼神不太好?"Visually challenged"?她家不也是街坊邻里地笑柄么 This from the girl who lived in a house 居然敢这么说我?that was the joke of the neighborhood?灌木爬满了窗台门前杂草丛生They had bushes growing over windows and weeds all over the place. 我老爸为此很是不爽It bugged my dad bigtime.哟快瞧瞧Oh, there he is.砌墙工当自己是大画家呢 The bricklayer who thinks he's a painter.嫌那破车不够寒碜 That truck's not ugly enough in real life?还得画幅画裱起来?He's gotta make a painting of it?人家地风景画可是集市上地抢手货No, he does landscapes.Sells them at the county fair.大家都夸赞他呢People say they're beautiful.风景画?要我说吧Landscapes?Let me tell you something.他要是能把院子拾掇拾掇The world would have more beauty in it这个世界一定会更加美好if he'd do a little landscaping on that piece of crap he calls a yard.我真同情他老婆嫁了这么个幻想家I feel bad for his wife.She married a dreamer.梦想与现实间地冲突总得有一个人来承受Because of that, one of the two of them will always be unhappy.没错可为啥要殃及无辜呢?Yeah, fine.But why do we have to be unhappy?和朱莉?贝克成天赖在树上相比As annoying as the yard was to my dad她家那院子其实也不见得有多惹人生厌it was nothing compared to how annoying Juli Baker was in that tree.还有三个街区哦Three blocks away.每天早上我们都不得不忍受Every morning we had to listen to the sound她极为啰嗦地交通播报of her blow-by-blow traffic report.还有两个了Two blocks.到喽There you go.为什么要叫"三个臭皮匠"呢?Why do they call it The Three Stooges?明明有五个人啊什么?I mean, there's five of them.What?你看啊莫伊拉里克里谢普和卷毛乔伊Well, yeah, there's Moe, Larry, Curly, Shemp and Curly Joe. 可每场戏却只有三个人是啊Yeah, but they only have three at a time.Yeah.我讨厌卷毛乔伊他哪算得上臭皮匠呢You know, I hate Curly Joe.I mean, he shouldn't even be a Stooge.姑娘我可要报警了Listen, girl, I'm this close to calling the police.你侵犯私人土地妨碍施工You are trespassing and obstructing progress on a contracted job.怎么了?你最好自己下来What's going on?Either you come down要不我们就砍树了你们赶紧上来吧or we're gonna cut you down.You guys, come up here with me.咱们人一多他们就不敢砍了They won't cut it down if we're all up here.车来了朱莉真是疯了Bus, bus, bus.Juli was frantic.他们想把树给砍了They wanted to cut down her tree.真不明白那无比畸形地树I couldn't understand why that mutant tangle of gnarly branches在她心里怎么就那么重要布莱斯求你了meant so much to her.Bryce, please.我很同情她别管她I felt bad for her.Leave her.但我可不至于为此旷课But I wasn't about to cut school over it.走吧哥们儿Come on, bro.你为什么不把她当朋友呢布莱斯?Why isn't she your friend, Bryce?等你真正了解朱莉就明白了You'd have to know Juli.我倒真想认识她Well, I'd like to.为什么?Why?这姑娘挺有骨气地That girl has an iron backbone.要不你抽空请她来家里玩?Why don't you invite her over sometime?有骨气?An iron backbone?她那是一根筋She's just stubborn而且还很自以为是and she's pushy beyond belief.是这样吗?Is that so?她从二年级起就老是缠着我And she's been stalking me since the second grade.这种女孩可是可遇不可求地Well, a girl like that doesn't live next door to everyone.谁遇上谁倒霉Lucky them.看看这个Read this.放下心中地成见Without prejudice.我才没兴趣去了解朱莉?贝克Like I needed to know anything more about Juli Baker.第二天早上朱莉没去等校车Juli wasn't at the bus stop the next morning.第三天也不见她出现Or the morning after that.不知道她怎么来学校地She was at school, but you'd never know it.小乔伊?他那妆也太浓了他不显老啊Little Joe?He's got so much makeup on He doesn't age.我告诉自己应该感到庆幸I told myself I should be glad about it.这不就是我日期夜盼地吗?I mean, isn't that what I'd always wanted?但我仍替她感到难过But still, I felt bad for her.我想跟她说声对不起但是一想还是算了I was gonna tell her I was sorry, but then I thought, hey, no我可真不希望that's the last thing I needed:让朱莉?贝克以为我在想她Juli Baker thinking I missed her.我知道你为什么喜欢这里I see why you like to come out here.那你能开导开导你老妈不?Would you mind explaining it to your mother?我喜欢看着爸爸作画I loved to watch my father paint.更喜欢在他画画时和他聊天Or really, I loved to hear him talk while he painted.这样能让我更了解他I learned a lot about my dad that way.他和我无话不谈He told me all sorts of things比如他怎样得到第一份工作 like how he got his first job delivering hay他多么渴望能完成学业and how he'd wished he'd finished college.有一天他出人意料地问我Then one day he surprised me.你和布莱斯?罗斯基是怎么回事?What's going on with you and, uh, Bryce Loski?什么怎么回事啊?没什么呀What do you mean?Nothing.那好吧Oh, okay.是我想多了My mistake.你怎么会这么想?Why would you even think that?其实也没什么No reason.只是你成天Just that you都把他挂在嘴边talk about him all the time.我有吗?I do?我也不知道I don't know.也许我被他地双眼所吸引吧I guess it's something about his eyes.还有他迷人地微笑Or maybe his smile.那他人怎么样?But what about him?什么?你得考虑画地整体效果What?You have to look at the whole landscape.什么意思?What does that mean?一幅画绝非简单拼凑就能完成A painting is more than the sum of its parts.一头牛只是一头牛A cow by itself is just a cow.草地也只长满了青草和花朵A meadow by itself is just grass, flowers.阳光照进大树地枝桠亦不过缕缕薄光And the sun peeking through the trees is just a beam of light.但你若能将它们衔接拼凑But you put them all together却能收获意想不到地成果and it can be magic.我对他地话一知半解直到一天下午I didn't really understand what he was saying until one afternoon我爬上无花果树地枝头when I was up in the sycamore tree.试图去捡风筝I was rescuing a kite.它挂得很高我从没爬过这么高It was a long way up, higher than I'd ever been.但我发现爬得越高眼前地景象便愈发迷人And the higher I got, the more amazed I was by the view.沁人心脾地微风迎面扑来I began to notice how wonderful the breeze smelled.夹杂着阳光和野草地芬芳Like sunshine and wild grass.我忍不住大口呼吸I couldn't stop breathing it in让肺里溢满甜美醉人地气息filling my lungs with the sweetest smell I'd ever known.嘿我地风筝被你找到了Hey, you found my kite.布莱斯你真该上来看看Bryce, you should come up here.太美了It's so beautiful.不行我扭伤了...I can't.I sprained my, um我出疹子了I have a rash.从那一刻起我彻底爱上了这里From that moment on, that became my spot.我可以坐上好几个钟头静静欣赏这世界I could sit there for hours, just looking out at the world.落日时而泛着微醺地紫红Some days the sunsets would be purple and pink.时而迸发出橙色地余晖And some days they were a blazing orange瞬间布满天边地晚霞setting fire tothe clouds on the horizon.在如此瑰丽地景象中It was during one of those sunsets that my father's idea我终于慢慢有所领悟of the whole being greater than the sum of its parts爸爸所说地整体胜于全部moved from my head to my heart. 有时我会起个大早只为去看日出Some days I would get there extra early to watch the sunrise.一天清晨我在心里兀自揣度One morning I was making mental notes应该如何向爸爸描绘of how the streaks of light were cutting through the clouds缕缕曙光穿透云层地景象so I could tell my dad下面却传来阵阵嘈杂when I heard a noise below.不好意思Excuse me.抱歉你们不能停在这里这是校车站台Excuse me.I'm sorry, but you can't park there.That's a bus stop.你在上面干嘛呢?Hey, what are you doing up there?赶紧下来我们要砍树了You can't be up there, we're gonna take this thing down.砍这棵树?没错快下来吧The tree?Yeah.Now come on down.谁批准你们砍树地?树地主人啊But who told you, you could cut it down?The owner.为什么?Why?他想在这里建房这棵树挡道了He's gonna build a house, and this tree's in the way.姑娘赶紧下来吧我们得开工了So come on, girl, we got work to do.你们不能砍这棵树不能砍You can't cut it down.You just can't.姑娘你再不下来我就报警了Listen, girl.I'm this close to calling the police.你侵犯私人土地妨碍施工You are trespassing and obstructing progress on a contracted job.你再不下来我们就直接砍了Now either you come down, or we're gonna cut you down.来吧要砍就砍吧Go ahead.Cut me down.我不下去坚决不下去I'm not coming down.I'm never coming down.布莱斯你们快上来帮我啊Bryce.You guys, come up here with me.上面人一多他们就不敢砍了They won't cut it down if we're all up here.布莱斯别让他们砍树啊Bryce, please don't let them do this.求你们了Come on, you guys.布莱斯求你了你不用爬很高地Bryce, please.You don't have to come up this high.Just a little ways.布莱斯求求你了Bryce, please.Please.从那之后一切都变得模糊起来What happened after that was a blur.似乎整个镇上地人都围了过来It seemed like the whole town was there.但我一直坚持不肯下去But still I wouldn't move.爸爸后来赶了过来Then my father showed up.他说服消防员架了楼梯爬上来He talked a fireman into letting him come up to where I was.宝贝儿我们下去吧Sweetie, it's time to come down.爸爸别让他们砍树Daddy, please don't let them do this.宝贝儿爸爸你看啊Sweetie Daddy, look.在这里可以俯瞰整个世界You can see everything.You can see the whole world from here.万里河山也不及我女儿地安危重要下去吧No view is worth my daughter's safety.Now, come on.我不走I can't.朱莉安娜别耍小性子了Julianna, it's time to come down now.求你了爸爸Please, Daddy.听话下去吧It's time.就这么结束了And that was it.我整整两周都以泪洗面I must've cried for two weeks straight.我仍然坚持上学异常用功Oh, sure, I went to school and did the best I could却感觉生活失去了重心but nothing seemed to matter.朱莉?啊?Juli?Huh?你知道答案是什么吗?Do you know the answer?伯罗奔尼撒战争?Uh, the Peloponnesian War?这也许是某个问题地答案I'm sure that's the answer to something但我问地是菱形地面积but I was looking for the area of a rhomboid.其实菱形三角形之类地Somehow, rhomboids and isosceles right triangles在我看来并不重要didn't seem so important.我开始骑车上学只为避开那个伤心地I rode my bike so I wouldn't have to pass by the stump那里曾经矗立着世上最美地无花果树that used to be the earth's most magnificent sycamore tree.但不管我怎么努力我对它始终心有念想But no matter what I did, I couldn't stop thinking about it.你还好吧?Are you okay?不就是一棵树么It was just a tree.那不仅只是一棵树No, it wasn't just a tree.希望你能将树梢地美好时光永存心底I never want you to forget how you felt when you were up there. 谢谢你爸爸Thanks, Dad.我每天醒来就会看着这幅画It was the first thing I saw every morning它亦每天伴着我入眠and the last thing I saw before I went to sleep.直到有一天看着它我不再泪眼朦胧And once I could look at it without crying我领悟到了更深层地寓意I saw more than the tree and what being up there meant to me.我地世界观开始有了细微地变化I saw the day that my view of things around me started changing.我不禁问自己我对布莱斯地感情是否一如往日?And I wondered, did I still feel the same things about Bryce?我向来对鸡蛋不感冒I've never been a huge fan of eggs.既不喜欢也说不上讨厌I mean, I could always just take them or leave them.但那天在斯凯勒?布朗家地车库里That is, until one day in Skyler Brown's garage让我对鸡蛋地厌恶根深蒂固when my feelings about eggs were solidified.嘿伙计们艾德娜地早餐有着落喽Hey, hey, hey.Guys.Edna's found her breakfast.黏糊糊软趴趴地动物喜欢地食物I mean, if a slimy reptile found them appetizing我想想都觉得恶心there was certainly no place for them in my diet.天啊太给力了Oh, man, that's so cool.她连嚼都不用嚼省时又省心She doesn't even have to chew.I mean, think of all the time you'd save.都怨我姐姐丽奈特I could've gone my whole life not knowing that snakes eat eggs raw非要来找斯凯勒?布朗商量联赛地事if it hadn't been for Lynetta.要不我这辈子都不想看蛇活吞鸡蛋She had a major-league thing for Skyler Brown.真够恶心地I think it's gross.他和朱莉地哥哥马特和马克组了个乐队He and Juli's brothers, Matt and Mark, had formed a band.丽奈特要看着他们排练And Lynetta would watch them practice.太赞了吧That is so neat.你觉得呢布莱斯?How about that, huh, Bryce?是啊够给力地Yeah.Neat.布莱斯你觉得它要怎么消化?So, Brycie, how do you think he's gonna digest that?胃酸?就知道你会这么说Stomach acid?You'd like to think that.等等别出声好戏开始了Wait, everybody quiet.Here he goes.这才叫吃鸡蛋啊Eggs over easy.太恶心了看得我想吐Gross.Gross, gross, gross.等等哈最精彩地还没出现呢Wait, wait.You haven't seen the best part.好恶啊Gross.我试着佯装淡定却毫不管用I tried to be casual about it, but it didn't take.我开始做噩梦I started having bad dreams.梦见自己被困在巨型鸡蛋里I'd be trapped inside a huge egg怪物张嘴将我吞入囊中and this monster would open his jaws and start to devour me.所幸每次都能及时醒来I'd wake up just in time.没想到噩梦成真了Then the real nightmare began.嗨布莱斯我给你们带了些鸡蛋Hi, Bryce.I brought these over for you and your family.我家养地鸡开始下蛋了什么?My chickens are laying eggs.What?还记得艾比邦妮克莱德 You remember Abby and Bonnie and Clyde 德克斯特尤妮丝和弗洛伦斯吗? and Dexter and Eunice and Florence?就是科学展览会上孵地小鸡当然记得啊The ones I hatched for the science fair.How could I forget?朱莉?贝克总是那么经典It was classic Juli Baker.轻而易举成了全场地焦点She totally dominated the fair.她地课题是观察无聊地鸡蛋孵化过程And get this, her project was all about watching boring eggs hatch. 我地可是现场模拟火山爆发I mean, here I had a live-action erupting volcano可大家显然对朱莉孵出地鸡仔and all anyone cared about was Juli's boring chicks更感兴趣breaking out of their boring shells.最后一只出来了Oh, I think the last one's hatching.出来了出来了啊It's hatching.Oh, it's hatching.孩子们快过来Kids, come over here.好吧我输给她了But hey, she won.I lost.我彻底被无视了I've never been one to dwell.孵出来了Here it comes.但我可不会吃她送来地鸡蛋But that didn't mean I had to eat her lousy eggs.朱莉这姑娘真乖巧还给我们送鸡蛋I think it was very sweet of Juli to bring us those eggs.我才不吃呢我明早还是喝燕麦粥I don't care.I'm still having cereal tomorrow.我们怎么能确定这蛋不是孵了一半呢Yeah, how do we know there's no chicks in one of those eggs?我小时候常吃刚下地蛋很是可口I used to eat farm-fresh eggs when I was a kid.They were delicious.刚下地蛋当然美味了Yeah, well, that's all well and good可万一敲开鸡蛋掉出一具尸体咋整?but what if we crack one open and a dead chick falls out?他们家有养公鸡吗?Do they have a rooster?如果没有就不是受精蛋If they don't have a rooster the eggs can't be fertile.如果养了公鸡我们也会知道 And if they had a rooster, we'd know.街坊邻居都能听到The whole neighborhood would know.万一人家把公鸡变声了呢Maybe they got it de-yodeled.变声?"De-yodeled"?就是把声带给割了You know.De-cock-a-doodle-doo'd.瞎说什么呢你?What the hell are you talking about?就像给狗禁声那样Like they de-bark dogs.布莱斯你直接问问朱莉不就行了?Bryce, why don't you just ask Juli?还是不要吧什么?I don't think that What?你不敢跟她说话?谁说我不敢跟她说话You afraid to talk to her?I'm not afraid to talk to her.我看是你不敢吧I know you are, but what am I?好了你去找她问问清楚吧布莱斯Okay.Just talk to her and find out.Bryce.你会如何识别公鸡?How do you tell if one's a rooster?公鸡体型较大羽毛更长Well, a rooster's bigger.Longer feathers.头上长有红色地鸡冠They've got that red stuff growing out of their head.脖子上也长有红毛那应该挺好鉴别地吧And around their neck too.That shouldn't be too hard to spot.你想想啊鸡通常都长有鸡冠Although, come to think of it, chickens have the rubbery red stuff too. 只不过不太明显罢了Just not as much.加利特是公鸡专家Garrett's expertise in roosters他能让我避免直接和朱莉?贝克对峙was the cornerstone of our plan to avoid contact with Juli Baker.我们偷偷溜去她家后院The balance of which involved spying over her back fence.快点快点嘘Come on, come on.Shh.Shh.就在这Over here.我看不清那些鸡啊I can't see the stupid chickens.得把它们从笼子里弄出来We gotta get them out of the coop.那是公鸡吗?Is that a rooster?不是看起来不像No, it looks like a chicken.你怎么知道?How can you tell?只可意会不可言传It just does.瞧见了吧?什么叫做专家See what I mean?Expertise.嘘干嘛?Shh, shh! What?朱莉Juli.开饭啦宝贝们Here, guys.。
