超搞笑的英语小笑话大全
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读英文的笑话笑话1:Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent!笑话2:Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!笑话3:I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.笑话4:I bought shoes from a drug dealer once. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!笑话5:I asked the librarian if she had any books on paranoia. She whispered, "They're right behind you!"笑话6:Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!笑话7:Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!笑话8:I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.笑话9:I saw a wino eating grapes. I told him, "You have to wait!"笑话10:I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually, it came back to me.笑话11:Why don't eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!笑话12:What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!笑话13:My friend told me that I should be more optimistic. I said, "Okay, I'm positive!"笑话14:I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.笑话15:Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He will stop at nothing to avoid them!笑话16:Why don't calculators go to the beach? Because they can't handle the waves!笑话17:What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!笑话18:I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.笑话19:I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.笑话20:Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!笑话21:I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.笑话22:What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner!笑话23:Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs!笑话24:I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.笑话25:Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems!笑话26:What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!笑话27:Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!笑话28:I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.笑话29:What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!笑话30:Why don't calculators go to the beach? Because they can't handle the waves!以上是30个英文笑话的集合,希望你能通过阅读它们,享受一段愉快的时光并大笑一番!笑话的目的是为了带给我们快乐和轻松,让我们忘记生活中的压力和烦恼。
笑破肚皮的英语笑话
1
Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?
Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!
汤姆:妈妈,我可以吃两块蛋糕吗?
妈妈:当然可以----拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧!
2
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
小男孩问他的父亲:“爸爸,结婚要花多少钱?”
His father replied, "I don't know, son, because I'm
still paying for it now."
他的父亲答复说:“儿子,我不知道,因为我现在还在为它付账呢。
”
3
“闺女,香蕉用英语怎么说? ”“banana!”
“苹果呢?” “iPhone!”
“那大苹果呢?” “iPad!”
4
Student A: When do people talk least?
Student B: In February.
Student A: Why?
Student B: Because February is the shortest month of a year.
学生甲:人们在什么时候说话最少?学生乙:在二月。
学生甲:为什么呢?学生乙:因为二月是一年中最短的一个月。
1.we two who and who?咱俩谁跟谁阿2.how are you ? how old are you?怎么是你,怎么老是你?3.you don"t bird me,i don"t bird you你不鸟我,我也不鸟你4.you have seed i will give you some color to see see,pothers !together up !你有种,我要给你点颜色瞧瞧,兄弟们,一起上!5.hello everybody!if you have something to say,then say!if you have nothing to say,go home!! 有事起奏,无事退朝6.you me you me彼此彼此7.you give me stop!!你给我站住!8.know is know noknow is noknow知之为知之,不知为不知...9.watch sister表妹10.dragon born dragon,chicken born chicken,mouse" son can make hole!!龙生龙,凤生凤,老鼠的儿子大地洞11.american chinese not enough美中不足12.one car e one car go ,two car pengpeng,people die车祸现场描述13.heart flower angry open心花怒放14.go past no mistake past走过路过,不要错过15.小明:i am sorry!老外:i am sorry too!小明:i am sorry three!老外:what are you sorry for?小明:i am sorry five!16.if you want money,i have no;if you want life,i have one!要钱没有,要命一条17.i call li old big. toyear 25.我叫李老大,今年25。
短的英语笑话故事大全(精选10篇)笑话具有篇幅短小,故事情节简单而巧妙,往往出人意料,给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。
大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象,具有讽刺性和娱乐性。
其趣味有高下之分。
接下来由小编为大家整理出短的英语笑话故事大全(精选10篇),仅供参考,希望能够帮助到大家!短的英语笑话故事1Where is your beard?After many years, a young Jewish Talmud student who had left the old country for America returns to visit the family. "But--where is your beard?" asks his mother upon seeing him. "Mama," he replies, "in America, nobody wears a beard." "But at least you keep the Sabbath?" "Mama, business is business. In America, everybody works on the Sabbath." "But kosher food you still eat?" "Mama, in America, it is very difficult to keep kosher." The old lady ponders this information and then leans over and whispers in his ear, "Isaac, tell me--you’re still circumcised?"短的英语笑话故事2They Didnt Have Nikes In Those DaysA young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said to him, "Ill make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study the bible a little, and get your hair cut, then well talk about it."A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if he could use the car. His father said, "Son, Im really proud of you. You brought your grades up, studied the bible well, but you didnt get your hair cut!"The young man waited a moment and then replied, "You know dad, Ive been thinking about that. Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair."His father replied, "Yes son, and they walked everywhere they went."短的英语笑话故事3Polly Want a WHAT?This lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.""What do they say?" the priest asked."They only know how to say, Hi, we are prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?""Thats terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "But I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two talking female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots who I have taught to pray and read the Bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to pray and worship.""Thank you," said the lady.The next day, the lady brings her female parrots to the priests house. The priests two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage.The lady puts her female talking parrots in with the male talking parrots and the female parrots say, "Hi, we are prostitutes! Do you want to have some fun?"One male parrot looks over to the other male parrot and screams, "Frank! Put the Bibles away--our prayers have been answered!"短的英语笑话故事4Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to Chinafromher visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directlyfromAmerica."短的英语笑话故事5Midway TacticsThree competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".短的'英语笑话故事6Five Months OlderThe Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he saw John‘s p apers, he was surprised."How old are you?" he said."Eighteen, sir," said John."But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?""Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."短的英语笑话故事7West PointMy father, brother and I visited West Point to see a football game between Army and Boston College. Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms. Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs, "to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point."One middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cadet and asked her to pose for a picture. They explained, "We want to show our son what he missed by not coming to West Point."短的英语笑话故事8Be Careful What You Wish ForA couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.Next, it was the husband‘s turn. He paused for a moment, then sa id shyly, "Well, I‘d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.短的英语笑话故事9Napoleon Was IllJack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year."He‘s a good boy," said Jack‘s father, "and if you let him pass this time, I‘m sure he‘ll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well.""No, n o, that‘s quite impossible," replied the professor immediately. "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn‘t know!""Please, sir, give him another chance," said Jack‘s father. "You see, I‘m afraid we don‘t take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill."短的英语笑话故事10He Was Only Wrong by TwoJack Hawkins was the football coach at an Amercian college, and he was always trying to find good players, but they weren‘t always smart enought to be acce pted by the college.One day the coach brought an excellent young player to the dean of the college and asked that the student be allowed to enter without an examination. "Well," the dean said after some persuasion, "I‘d better ask him a few questions first."Then he turned to the student and asked him some very easy questions, but the student didn‘t know any of the answers.At last the dean said, "Well, what‘s five times seven?"The student thought for a long time and then answered, "Thirty-six."The dean threw up his hands and looked at the coach in despair, but the coach said earnestly, "Oh, please let him in, sir! He was only wrong by two."。
英语爆笑小笑话12篇下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑小笑话,希望大家会喜欢!英语爆笑小笑话:智力缺陷"Would you mind telling me, Doctor," Bob asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?" "Nothing is easier," he replied, "You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track." "Well, what sort of question?" "Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?' " Bob thought for a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history."“医生,你能不能告诉我,”鲍勃问,“对于一个看上去很正常的人,你是怎样判断出他有智力缺陷的呢?”“再没有比这容易的了,”医生回答,“问他一个简单的问题,简单到所有人都知道答案,如果他回答得不干脆,那你就知道是怎么回事了。
英语笑话简短搞笑英语笑话既能让我们快乐,也能让我们学到英语知识,何乐而不为呢?今天我们就一起来看看英语笑话简短搞笑吧!英语笑话简短搞笑(一)A man walked into a doctor's examining room一个人走进一家诊所。
A:Put out your tongue.伸出你的舌头。
B:OK.好的。
Then he put out his tongue and the doctor looked at it quickly.于是他伸出舌头,医生很快地看了一下。
A:You can put your tongue back now. It's clear what's wrong with you.You need more exercise.好吧,把舌头伸回去吧,你的病因很明显,你需要更多的运动。
B:But,doctor, I don't think...但是,医生,我不认为……A:Don't tell me what you think,I am the doctor,not you,I know what you need.I see hundreds of people like you.None of them get any exercis e.They sit in offices all day and in front of the television in the evening.What you need is to walk quickly for at least twenty mi-nutes a day.不要告诉我你认为怎么样,我是医生,不是你。
我知道你需要什么。
我看过数以百计像你这样的'病人。
他们没有一个人锻炼过。
他们整天坐在办公室里,晚上就坐在电视机前。
你所需要的就是每天至少快跑20分钟。
B:Doctor.you don't understand.I...医生,你不知道,我……A:I don't want to hear any excuses. You must find time for exercise.If you don't,you will get fat and have health problems when you are o1der.我不想听任何理由。
英语小笑话爆笑带翻译英语小笑话大全爆笑带翻译(精选8篇)笑话一般比较短小,喜剧性很强,普遍存在于人们的日常生活中。
笑话的娱乐作用可以减轻人的心理压力,促进身体健康。
店铺精心收集了英语小笑话大全爆笑带翻译(精选8篇),供大家欣赏学习!英语小笑话爆笑带翻译篇1While the doctor was looking over the man, his wife kept fussing(烦躁,发牢骚) andjabbering(快而含糊地说) all the time. The doctor told her: "Your husband must get absolute rest and quiet." Then he left some sleeping pills.The man's wife asked, "When do I dive them to my husband?" The doctor replied, "No, they are not for him. They are for you. You need them."有个人生病了。
他的妻子请了一位医生来给他治病。
医生在给他治疗的时候,他的妻子一直大惊小怪,神神叨叨地紧张不安。
医生对她说:“你的丈夫必须绝对休息和保持安静。
” 然后他就留下了一些安眠药。
她问医生:“什么时候给我丈夫吃这些药呀!”医生回答说:“不用,这些药不是给他吃的,是给你吃的,你需要。
”英语小笑话爆笑带翻译篇2She was so excited and anxious to tell him. She said, "I've bought two presents for your birthday, dear. I would tell you now because I can't wait until that day. One present is a mat to put in front of my dressing table. Another one is a bronze statuette(小雕像) for the drawing room mantelpiece." And then she added: "Now me?"Her husband thought for a while and then replied: "I'd better get you a new razor and some ties, so that we may exchange presents with each other."有个女人给她的丈夫买了生日礼物。
有趣的英文笑话忙碌的生活中,适时阅读一些有趣的英文笑话,能够很好地放松我们生活的压力,下面店铺为大家带来有趣的英文笑话,希望大家喜欢!有趣的英文笑话1:A young man came home from work and found his bride upset. "I feel terrible, " she said. "I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers.”一位年轻的丈夫下班回到家里,发现新娘心烦意乱。
“我心里太难受了,她说,我在给你熨西装时把裤子的臀部烧了个大洞。
”"Forget It,n"said her husband. "Remember that l've got an extra pair of pants for that suit.“没事儿,”丈夫安慰她说,你忘了我这套衣服有两条裤子。
"Yes,”said t he woman.cheering up. "And it's luckY you have.I used another pants to patch the hole."”是的,“妻子高兴地说,幸亏你还有一条,我后来就用它来补了这个洞了。
有趣的英文笑话2:On our way to a wedding in Vermont, my husband and I realized we had forgotten our camera. We stopped at a general store and, hoping to purchase a cheap,disposable model. Sal asked the owner, ¨Do you have any of those throwaway cameras?在前往威蒙特参加一个婚礼的路上,我和丈夫意识到我们忘了带照相机。
最搞笑的英语小笑话十则篇一:爆笑的经典英语小笑话英语笑话(一)老师在黑板上写了一句:Time is money.并让同学们翻译。
有名学生答道:“汤姆是玛丽。
” 小明上英文课时跟老师说:May I go to the toilet?老师说:Go ahead.小明就坐了下来。
过了一会儿,小明又跟老师说:May I go to the toilet?老师说:Go ahead.小明又坐了下来。
他旁边的同学于是忍不住问:你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗?怎么不去?小明说:你没听老师说「去你个头」啊!英语笑话(二)某日刘洪涛遇到外宾,上前搭话曰:I am hongtao liu,外宾曰:我TM还是方片七呢!英语笑话(三)江青会见外宾,要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻,不许走样。
外宾一见到江青,立刻拍马屁道:"Miss Jiang, you are very beautiful." 翻译照翻,江青心花怒放,嘴上还要谦虚一下:“哪里,哪里”。
翻译不敢怠慢,把江青的话翻成英文:"Where? Where?" 外宾一愣,还有这样的人,追问哪里漂亮的,干脆马屁拍到底:"Everywhere, everywhere."翻译:“你到处都很漂亮。
”江青更高兴了,但总是要客气一下:“不见得,不见得”。
翻译赶紧翻成英文:"You are not allowed to see, you are not allowed to see."英语笑话(四)话说某年某月的某一天,叁个神箭手约在一起比箭,目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。
A 神箭手挽弓长射,咻一声,利箭正中苹果。
A高傲的昂起下巴,比出一根大拇指道:「I AM 后羿!」B神箭手照本宣科,射中苹果,这回他自大的喊了一句:「I AM丘比特!」轮到C了,他也挽弓,利箭射出!结果正中仆人的心脏。
就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出一句:「I...I...I...AM...SORRY...」英语笑话(五)某人刻苦学习英语,终有小成。
20个英语笑话爆笑超短1.Why don’t scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!2.I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.3.What did the grape say after the elephant sat on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.4.How does a penguin build its house?Igloos it together!5.Why don’t skeletons fight each other?They don’t have the guts!6.Why don’t scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!7.Why did the scarecrow win an award?Because he was outstanding in his field!8.Why don’t eggs tell jokes?Because they might crack up!9.Why was the math book sad?Because it had too many problems!10.What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?An abdominal snowman!11.Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?It was two-tired!12.How does a cucumber become a pickle?It goes through a jarring experience!13.What do you call a bear with no teeth?A gummy bear!14.Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek?Because he was always spotted!15.Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negativenumbers?He will stop at nothing to avoid them!16.Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay?Because then they would be bagels!17.What kind of tree fits in your hand?A palm tree!18.Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?Because they taste funny!19.How do you organize a space party?You planet!20.Why don’t scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!以上是20个英语笑话爆笑超短的集合。
英语小笑话带翻译英语小笑话带翻译25则英语小笑话带翻译(一):1。
Dad: Tom, please tell me, which month has 28 days?Tom: Every month。
爸爸:告诉我汤姆,哪个月有28天呢?汤姆:每个月都有啊!2。
Boy: Is this seat empty?Girl: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down。
男孩:这个座位是空的么?女孩:是的,如果你坐下,我的座位也将是空的。
3。
Boy: "I'd like to call you。
What's your number?"girl: "It's in the phone book。
" Boy: "But I don't know your name。
" girl: "That's in the phone book too。
"男:我想给你打电话。
你的电话号码是多少?女:在电话本上呢。
男:可是我不明白你的名字呀。
女:也在电话本上呢。
4。
Palmist: The life line in your hand tells that you will die in a year。
Customer: Good gracious! In a year? Palmist: Yes, but I can't say in which。
手相大师:你手上的生命线显示出你还有一年将会死去。
顾客:天哪,一年后?手相大师:是的,可是我不能说是哪一年。
5。
A cop spotted a woman driving and knitting at the same time。
Coming up beside her, he said, "Pull over!" "No," she replied, "a pair of socks!"巡警发现一名妇女边开车边织毛衣,便开车上前,说:"靠边停车(套头衫)!" "不," 她回答,"是一双袜子!"6。
英语小笑话20篇英语小笑话(一):A Useful Way 一个有效的方法Father: Jack,why do you drink so much water?Jack: I have just had an apple,Dad。
Father: What"s that got to do with it?Jack: I forgot to wash the apple。
爸爸:杰克,你干嘛喝这么多水呀?杰克:我刚才吃了个苹果,爸爸。
爸爸:可是这跟喝水有什么关系呢?杰克:我忘了洗苹果呀。
英语小笑话(二):我根本就看不见After supper,the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests。
At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV,"Honey,go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while,her son returnedand said,"Ma,the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all。
"晚饭后,父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将,这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来,便对正在看电视的儿子说道:“宝贝,去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢?”过了一会儿,儿子回来说:“妈,厨房里太黑了,我根本就看不见。
”英语小笑话(三):Tom's excuse 汤姆的借口Teacher: Tom,why are you late for school every day?Tom: Every time I e to the corner,a sign says,School-Go Slow。
经典英语笑话6篇英语笑话是指以一句英文短语或一个英文故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑,或是产生幽默感,笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言,笑话是一种艺术方法。
下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑笑话,欢迎大家阅读!英语笑话一:我要做的一切就是付钱!All I do is pay"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "Mywife is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war,and my daughter is foreign secretary.""Sounds interesting, " his colleague replied. "And what is yourposition?""I’m the people. All I do is pay."布朗先生告诉同事说:“我的家简直就象一个国家一样。
我妻子是财政部长。
我岳母是作战部长,我女儿是外交秘书。
”“听上去挺有意思的,”他的同事说,“那你的职务是什么呢?”“我就是老百姓。
我要做的一切就是付钱。
”英语笑话二:喂狗 For the DogThe family seated in a restaurant had finished their dinner when Father Called over the waiter."My son has left quite a lot of meat on his plate," explained Father, "Could you give me a bag so that I can take it home for the dog?""Gosh, Dad!" exclaimed the excited boy. "Have we got a dog then?"一家人在饭馆里吃过晚饭,父亲把服务生叫了过来。
英语小笑话,英语笑话大全(带翻译)/2016/0827/20160827100443271.jpg" width="450" alt="笑话" />英语小笑话【一】1、The Fish NetCan you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.翻译:鱼网你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗,安? 老师发问道。
把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。
小女孩回答道。
2、律师和胳膊、宝马A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!!! , he whined.You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!! retorted the officer, You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!翻译:一个律师打开他的宝马车门,突然一辆汽车驶过来把门撞飞了,警察赶到现场,律师正痛苦地抱怨毁坏了他心爱的宝马。
爆笑到不行的英语笑话大全笑话一般比较短小,喜剧性很强,普遍存在于人们的日常生活中。
笑话的娱乐作用可以减轻人的心理压力,促进身体健康。
下面是店铺带来的爆笑到不行的英语笑话,欢迎阅读!爆笑到不行的英语笑话篇一病人和他的大夫A woman complained that her husband constantly hung around the house,doing or saying nothing. T o please her, he went to see a psychiatrist.“Just lie down on the couch and we'll talk. "the doctor told him. "If you think of something to say, fine. If not,maybe next time.”一位妇女总是抱怨其丈夫在家里转来转去,无所事是,为了使老婆高兴,他找到了精神病学专家。
“你就躺在沙发上,我们来谈谈。
”精神病医生告诉他:“如呆你想起什么就说,没有的话,下次再讲也行。
”The guy got himself comfortable and fell fast asleep. At the end of the hour,the doctor woke hirn up and said,"That will be all for today—$100,please. "The patient paid and left.这位男士舒适地躺在沙发上,很快就入睡了。
到了一小时,大夫唤醒了他说:“今天就到这儿吧,请交100元。
”病人付了钱之后就走了,从此,那个人每周三、四来就诊。
每次,他总是一句话也不说,光是睡觉,而且每次都付钱。
第三周,病人来后坐下,然后又跳了起来。
The man came back every Tuesday and Thursday after that. Each time,he fell asleep without saying a word,but paid the fee. The third week, the patient came in,sat down and then jumped right up again."Aha,", marveled the doctor. "Have you thought of something to say?"“啊哈!”大夫惊喜道,“你想出要说的话了吗?”"Yes,do you need a partner ?"“是的,你需要一个助手吗?”爆笑到不行的英语笑话篇二执行指令My friend Gilbert and some other truck drivers were to deliver loads of gravel out in the country. The directions they were given said to go down a certain road and, when they came to a cow tied to a fence post, to turn right.我朋友吉尔波特和一些卡车司机到农村去送沙石。
精选笑翻天英语笑话大全
看一些,既能学到英语知识,也能开心,何乐而不为呢?今天我们就一起来看看精选笑翻天英语笑话大全吧!
I`ve Just Bitten My Tongue
"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
"Yes,dear," she replied. "Why do you ask?"
"Because I`ve just bitten my tongue!"
我刚咬了自己的舌头
“我们有毒吗?”一条年幼的蛇问它的妈妈。
“是的,亲爱的,”她答复说,“你问这个干什么?”
“因为我刚刚咬了自己的舌头!
小男孩儿看完牙医,面带微笑地回到家:“嘿,妈妈,牙医说,我一颗蛀牙也没有。
”
妈妈惊讶地瞪大眼睛:“不可能——你每回上床睡觉前都把巧克力盒子里的糖一下子吃完,而且从来不刷牙!”
这时,男孩儿张开了嘴巴——他的牙全被拔光了。
超搞笑的英语小笑话大全
导读:我根据大家的需要整理了一份关于《超搞笑的英语小笑话大全》的内容,具体内容:笑话,顾名思义,是一种通过幽默的文字或图示来达到令人会心一笑或捧腹大笑效果的文学形式。
我精心收集了超搞笑的英语小笑话,供大家欣赏学习!超搞笑的英语小笑话篇1The ...
笑话,顾名思义,是一种通过幽默的文字或图示来达到令人会心一笑或
捧腹大笑效果的文学形式。
我精心收集了超搞笑的英语小笑话,供大家欣赏学习!
超搞笑的英语小笑话篇1
The day before my graduation from a high school in St.Louis,the principal called an assembly. He wanted to say farewell informally,he explained,as he reviewed our years together. There was hardly a dry eye among us as he concluded,"We will remember you,and hope you will remember us;more importantly,we want all of you to meet in this very auditorium 25 years from today."
我从圣路易斯毕业的前一天,校长召集我们开了个会。
他想非正式地告别一下。
当他回顾起这些年大家在一起所度过的时光时,我们每个人都很激动,眼睛都湿润了。
他又情
绪激昂地说:"我们是不会忘记你们的,希望你们也不要忘记我们。
我们要你们25年后的今天再来这里相聚。
"
There was a moment of silence,then a thin voice piped up,"What
time?"
一片寂静,接着就听见有人小声说:"什么时间?"
超搞笑的英语小笑话篇2
Our annual high school faculty party was held at a popular restaurant. By late evening,our waiter looked dead on his feet. My husband told him to pull up a chair."Are all you folks teachers?"the young man asked.
我们每年一度的中学教师联谊会是在一家很时髦的饭店举行的。
到了晚上,服务员的脚都要累僵了,我丈夫告诉他拿把椅子坐坐,"你们这些人都是教师吗?"这个年轻人问.
"Why,yes,"I replied. "What makes you ask?"
"是呀,怎么了?"我说:"你怎么想起问这个问题了?"
" I never waited on a group like this before,"he said."Every time one of you wants something,you raise your hand."
"我从来没为这样的人服务过,他们一旦有请求,总是都举手示意。
"他说。
超搞笑的英语小笑话篇3
At a convention in Washington, D. C.,I met a man who was visiting from a rural community. One night, he got into a taxicab and saw the name Allah on the dashboard.Unaccustomed to the cultural diversity of the city,he asked the driver,"Is that your name?" Shocked, the driver responded,"No. That is the god I worship!"
在华盛顿特区参加会议时,我遇到了一位从农村来的参观者.有一天,他坐上了出租汽车,看见在车盖上写着一个名字—阿拉。
由于不熟悉城乡间的文化差异,他问司机,
"这是你的名字吗?"司机感到很吃惊,回答说:"不,这是我所崇拜的神。
"
Embarrassed,the visitor was determined not to make the same mistake again. The next time he got into a cab,he noticed a crown on the dashboard,and he asked the driver,"Is that a religious symbol?"
这件事使得那位参观者感到很尴尬,他打定主意,绝不再犯类似的错误。
当他又一次乘坐出租车时,他注意到汽车仪表装置台上有个皇冠图样的东西,他便问司机,"那是个宗
教的象征吗?"
"No,"the driver responded. "Its an air freshener."
"不是,"司机说:"那是空气调节器。
"。