令狐敬-20110312雅思考试写作机经A类6分雅思大作文
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雅思大作文6分范文In recent years, the issue of environmental protection has attracted increasing attention from the public. Some people believe that individuals should take more responsibility for protecting the environment, while others argue that it is the government's duty to address this issue. In my opinion, both individuals and the government should work together to protect the environment.On the one hand, individuals play a crucial role in environmental protection. Every person can contribute to the environment in their daily lives by reducing, reusing, and recycling. For example, using reusable bags instead of plastic bags, conserving water and electricity, and sorting and recycling waste can all make a difference. Additionally, individuals can also participate in environmental conservation activities, such as tree planting and beach clean-ups, to help preserve the natural environment. Therefore, it is important for everyone to be aware of their impact on the environment and take steps to minimize it.On the other hand, the government also has a significant responsibility in protecting the environment. It is the government'sduty to create and enforce strict environmental regulations to control pollution and protect natural resources. Moreover, the government should invest in sustainable energy sources and promote green technologies to reduce carbon emissions and combat climate change. Furthermore, the government can also raise public awareness through educational campaigns and provide incentives for businesses to adopt environmentally friendly practices. Without the government's intervention, it would be difficult to achieve significant progress in environmental protection on a larger scale.In conclusion, both individuals and the government have important roles to play in environmental protection. While individuals can make a difference through their daily actions and choices, the government's policies and regulations are essential for addressing larger environmental issues. Therefore, it is crucial for both parties to work together in order to create a sustainable and healthy environment for future generations.。
1.作文题目: 2010.05.08Schools should concentrate on teaching students the academic subjects that will be useful for their future careers. Subjects such as music and sports are not useful. To what extent do you agree or disagree?2.考生原文I agree that children should study other subjects. Because,nowadays, every schools only teach children subjectswhich are beneficial to their future such as Maths, Chinese, and sicience. There are all important for children to improve their abilities, but they are not the whole. Sports and Music are also necessary very much.In our country, students have a heavy bag-Chinese texts. If they want to achieve a high grade, they should try their best to study English, Chinese and so on. At the same time, other subjects are not important what they think. So they will be weak easierand losta lot of great time. Studying in Sports class is a good process, During play basketball or football, you can be stronger and also meet many friends.They will make you feel not alone and be willing to face each trouble. And the music can make you relaxed and fellhappy. It’s also a beneficial method to change their minds.In my opinion, Chinese children need study other subjects. Whateversports and music is easy or difficult, theyall should study a lot because they can let them feel full and broadtheir eyes. As is known to us, education need use different useful meanschildren can use their extra time to study other subjects, it just spend a little time and will give them a huge advantage.In conclusion, studying other subjects is important for children’s future too. Children study more useful skills, they will be succeed.3.老师批改文中标识:用词不当逻辑错误语法错误修改添加I agree that children should study other subjects(表达不准确,可改为‘subjects other than academic ones’,文中多次出现。
雅思考试A类写作机经回忆:2011年3月12日
下面是我们为广大考生搜集整理的2011年3月12日雅思考试A 类写作机经详细回忆,希望能对正在备考的烤鸭们今后的考试有所帮助。
2011年3月12日雅思A类写作机经整理
图表作文
图表种类柱状图
图表instructionThe bar chart shows the recycling percentage of household waste including plastics, paper, cans and glass in 1992, 1997 and 2002.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
图表要素回忆
此次小作文考题依旧为常规的柱状图,考察了在不同年代,四种家庭废品的回收比例。
议论文
话题类别社会类
考题文字:Competitiveness is a positive quality for people to have among most societies. How does this competitiveness affect individuals? Do you think it is a positive or negative trend?
2011年3月12日雅思A类写作机经点评:
小作文继续考察柱形图,考生要注意比较四种家庭废品的回收比例,注意在不同时间的比例变化。
大作文是关于抽象话题的讨论,竞争精神怎样影响着个人生活,讨论其带来的优劣,如:激励作用,同时也会带来心理问题。
考生可以多举实例。
雅思机经:2011年4⽉28⽇A类写作考题机经 下⾯是2011年4⽉28⽇雅思A类写作机经的回忆内容,包括了图表作⽂和议论⽂两个部分。
2011年4⽉28⽇雅思A类写作考题的内容和以往有些不同,都是2011年之前的考试中没有出现过的考题,⼤家⼀起来看看吧。
图表作⽂ 图表种类:线型图 图表说明:The line graph shows the information about the number of enquiries received by telephone, by letter or email, and in person in tourism office in one city. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. 图表要素回忆: 作⽂是line graph,较为简单,⼀共有3条线,⼀条是by telephone,⼀条是by letters or email,还有⼀条是in person,主要⽐较三种获得tourist information 的⽅式。
议论⽂ 话题类别:政府类 考题⽂字:Too much money has spend on looking after and repairing old buildings, therefore, we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?在照看和维护旧建筑⽅⾯,我们花费了太多的资⾦了,所以,我们应该把旧建筑推倒,然后建⼀些现代的建筑来代替它们。
你同意这种观点吗? 以上就是关于2011年4⽉28⽇雅思A类写作机经的全部内容,⼤家可以看到2011年4⽉28⽇雅思A类写作考题中,线型图为相对较熟悉的图形,考⽣在备考过程中要注意趋势的变化以及起始点数据的⽐较。
雅思写作6分范文雅思写作是雅思考试中的一项重要内容,它考查了考生的英语写作能力。
在雅思写作中,考生需要根据题目要求,写出一篇符合语法规范、逻辑清晰、内容丰富的文章。
其中,雅思写作的评分标准是非常严格的,分数从0分到9分不等。
而6分是一个比较中等的分数,下面将为大家提供一篇雅思写作6分范文,供大家参考。
题目Some people think that the government should provide free education at all levels. Others believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to pay for their own education. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.范文Education is one of the most important factors that contribute to the development of a country. However, there is a debate over whether the government should provide free education at all levels or individuals should pay for their own education. In this essay, I will discuss both views and give my own opinion.On the one hand, those who support the idea of free education argue that education is a basic right of every citizen and it should be provided by the government. They believe that education is the key to success and it should not be limited to those who can afford it. Moreover, they argue that free education can help to reduce the gap between the rich and the poor and promote social equality.On the other hand, those who oppose the idea of free education argue that individuals should take responsibility for their own education. They believe that education is a personal investment and individuals should be responsible for their own success. Moreover, they argue that free education can lead to a decrease in the quality of education as there will be less incentive for teachers and students to work hard.In my opinion, both views have their own merits. While it is true that education is a basic right of every citizen and should be provided by the government, individuals should also take responsibility for their own education. The government should provide free education to those who cannot afford it, but those who can afford it should pay for their own education. This can help to ensure that education is accessible to everyone, while also maintaining the quality of education.In conclusion, the issue of whether the government should provide free education at all levels or individuals should pay for their own education is a complex one. While both views have their own merits, I believe that the government should provide free education to those who cannot afford it, while those who can afford it should pay for their own education. This can help to ensure that education is accessible to everyone, while also maintaining the quality of education.。
雅思考试A类大作文完整版雅思考试A类大作文完整版内容给大家整理出来了,有需要的同学可以自己保存我们的文章链接。
雅思写作除了平时积累素材之外还要了解历年写作考试题型,知晓出题规律,关于年雅思考试A类大作文详细内容接着往下看。
雅思考试A类大作文内容如下:[-1-9]The best way for a government to solve the problem of traffic congestion is to provide free public transport 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.To what extent do you agree or disagree?[-1-11]Nowadays many young people in the workforce change their jobs or careers every few years.What do you think are the reasons for this?Do the advantages of this outweigh its disadvantages?[-1-18]Many children find it difficult to concentrate on or pay attention to their studies at school.What are the causes?What are the possible solutions to this problem?[-1-25]The international community must act immediately to ensure that all countries reduce their consumption of fossil fuels, such as gas and oil.To what extent do you agree or disagree?[-2-1]Some people believe that the best way to produce a happier society is to ensure that there are only small differences between its richest and poorest members.To what extent do you agree or disagree?[-2-13]More and more people are now living in cities and towns. Some people believe that the government should spend money on putting in more art works such as paintings and statues there to make them better places to live in.Do you agree or disagree?[-2-15]Some people think that success of life is based on hard work and determination. Others, however, believe that there are more important factors such as having money or good appearance.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.[-2-22]Children s education is expensive. In some countries, the government pays for some of or all of the costs involved.Do the advantages of this practice outweigh its disadvantages?[-3-1]Some people think that living in big cities is bad for people s health.To what extent do you agree or disagree?[-3-8]Some people think that all young people should be required to have full-time education until they are at least 18 years old.To what extent do you agree or disagree?[-3-13]Some people think that printed books are no longer needed in a digital era because all writing can be stored electronically. Others think that printed books will still play an important role.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.[-3-15]It is important for all towns and cities to build outdoor public places such as squares and parks.Do you agree or disagree?[-4-5]An increasing number of people change their career and places of residence several times during their life. Is this a positive or negative development?[-4-12]Some people think that the purpose of education is to prepare individuals to be useful to society. Others think that the purpose of education is to prepare individuals to achieve personal ambitions.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.[-4-24]Nowadays there are many television advertisements aimed at children.What effects do they have on children? Should TV advertising be controlled?[-4-26]In some countries,the development of the Internet gives people the freedom to work and study at home instead of travelling to their workplace or school.Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?[-5-10]Today in many countries, both women and men work full-time. Logically, women and men should share household tasks equally.To what extent do you agree or disagree?[-5-15]Employers should give their staff at least 4 weeks holiday every year to make them perform better at their jobs.To what extent do you agree or disagree?[-5-17]Children can learn effectively from watching TV. Therefore, they should be encouraged to watch TV regularly both at home and at school.To what extent do you agree or disagree?[-5-24]Many young people leave school with a negative attitude.What are the reasons?What can be done to encourage young people to study with a positive attitude?[-6-7]Some people believe that if a police force carries guns, it will encourage the level of violence in the society.To what extent do you agree or disagree?[-6-19]Some people think that adults should learn practical skills by themselves, while others believe that learning from a teacher in a classroom is better.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.[-6-21]An increasing number of people change careers in their working life.What are the causes?Do you think it has a positive or negative effect on the development of society?[-6-28]With the increasing demand for energy such as oil and gas, people start to look for their sources in remote and untouched places.Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?[-7-10]Some countries have achieved international success, building specialised sports facilities for top athletes to train instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use.Is this a positive or negative development?[-7-12]Some people think that younger people are not suitable for important positions in government. Others think that it will be a good idea for younger people to take on these positions.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.[-7-19]Some people think that governments should do more to make their citizens eat a healthy diet. Others, however, believe that individuals must take responsibility for their own diet and health.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.[-7-26]Some people think that environmental problems are too big for individuals to solve. Others, however, believe that these problems cannot be solved if individuals do not take actions.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.。
我的托福雅思必过雅思写作6分范文及解析雅思写作6分范文及解析,帮助大家提高雅思写作成绩,轻松提分。
很多雅思考生表示雅思写作“我只要6分〞,其实写作最重要的一点就是不偏题,一起来看看雅思写作6分范文,欣赏一下别人都是怎么写文章的。
题目:WRITING TASK 1You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.The graph below gives information about cinema attendancein Australia between 1990 and the present, with projections to .Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.Write at least 150 words.雅思写作6分范文:The graph shows percentages of cinema attendance at least once a year in Australia between 1990 to with projections for the future. The graph is described by 4 groups of different ages which are 14 to 24, 25 to 34, 35 to 49 and over 50 year olds.The youngest age group people have been going to cinema more than any other age groups and the percentage has been keeping very high at approximately90% since 1990. It is predicted to keep the high and to increase more from .The middle age groups people have enjoyed going cinema between 60% to 80%. The percentage of age 25 to 34 group has been higher than the one of age 35 to 49 group but from the percentage of 25 to 34 year olds people will decrease while the one of 35 to 49 year olds people will increase and get higher than the other one.The oldest people seem to go cinema less than the other groups but the percentageof the attendance has slightly going up by 15% from 40% to 55% between 1990 to and it will keep increasing to 60% by .【考官评语】Band 6This response addresses the requirements of the task and selects relevant material to describe. Key features and an overview are presented, although clearer highlighting, more support and a more comprehensive overview would be needed to reach a higher band. Information is well-organised and there is a clear overall progression in the response. There is some effective use of cohesive devices, but only limited use of reference and substitution. The range of vocabulary is not wide, but it is adequate for the task. Control of word form and spelling is consistentlygood, although there are some clumsy noun phrases that indicatelimited flexibility. The candidate attempts to use a mix of simple and complex sentences, but control is variable and grammatical errors or omissionsare quite intrusive at times. Figures are poorly integrated into sentences and indicate evident limitations.对于烤鸭们来说,雅思写作6分能拿到的实属不易,很多学霸阅读和听力都能够获得7分或者是更高分,但是雅思写作成绩却偏偏差强人意,所以希望今天的雅思写作6分范文可以帮助到大家,仔细看看考官点评,对你的考试也是有所帮助的。
2011.01.08Some people think that robots are very important to human’s future development, while others think they are dangerous and have negative effects on society.Discuss both views and give your opinion.翻译:一些人认为,机器人对于人类未来的发展很重要,与此同时也有人任务它们很危险并且对社会有负面影响。
考点:1、时间轴2、空间轴范文链接:/s/blog_54a09e050101jld2.html男女平等类2011.01.15Nowadays, some workplaces tend to employ equal numbers of men and women workers.Do you think it is a positive or negative development?翻译:当今,一些工作单位倾向于招收同等数量的男女工作者。
考点:1、细节词汇equal numbers2、时间轴范文链接:/s/blog_54a09e050101k1mp.html教育类2011.01.22Nowadays some individuals behave in an anti-society way, such as committing a crime. In general, it is the society to blame.What causes the anti-social behaviours of individuals? Who should be responsible for dealing with it?翻译:当今,一些人有一些反社会行为,比如犯罪。
总体来说,这是社会的责任。
雅思A类大作文真题(最终版)第一篇:雅思A类大作文真题(最终版)雅思A类大作文真题范文,来自环球雅思张嵩老师。
用词造句都是亮点。
环球雅思愿和你分享以下文章。
雅思A类大作文真题范文——来自环球雅思张嵩老师雅思A类大作文真题题目:Some people say that all young people should be required to stay in full-time education until they are at least 18 years old.To what extent do you agree or disagree?(Word count=275)雅思A类大作文真题范文:Education has always been the most experienced profession and industry in the world, anddiscussions on it have always found a new angle.Receiving full-time education prior to adulthood(18 years old as a general practice)is held as truth, which this essay almost fully roots for.It is true that continuous schooling before 18 years old benefits learners and their families.In reality, education helps as much the growth of professional skills as the development of character, both of which will most likely bring material life comforts and higher life purposes.Consequently, with personal development guaranteed, domestic situations—be they of the families individuals are from or will create—will be bettered in due course.It is also true that countries and governments will benefit from national talents.The young are the future, and thus are paid attention to by means of education.Without knowledge and skills, which are likely acquired at schools at different levels, the prospects of national advances arein jeopardy.Thus, lasting education for young people is of necessity.However, it would not be nitpicking to statethat a dozen years of education sometimes might seem only wishful.With regional differences within a country or beyond boarders, certain families are still stricken by starvation, warfare, or poverty, and their younger generation are forced out of the luxury of education at all, let alone a continuous one before the beginning of adulthood.Globally, it is not rare that children or teenagers are willingly joining the labour force to sustain family economy, or are helplessly enlisted in military forces.In sum, the statement in question shows goodwill that might be shattered by reality.以上就是环球雅思老师为大家带来的雅思A类大作文真题范文,希望大家仔细研读,值得借鉴!环球雅思祝你成功!第二篇:最新雅思G类阅读真题最新雅思G类阅读真题G类阅读一篇说员工出差的报销问题:不确定能不能报销的先找line manager(可能是其他人这个记不清了);报销要保存帐单;车票和国内国际机票国内机票只能经济舱国际的可以其他;住宿旅馆要求经常去的地区只能住单位联系的酒店有折扣其他地区3星级或多少钱以下;其他文具啥的费用怎么样忘了另一篇超市招聘长期员工,面试后给feedback,店内不让查电子邮件,要提供有住址的帐单,其他不记得了还有一篇说的几个房屋广告:楼层高的那个不适合老人和残疾人;天花板高的那个有储物空间;附近有学校的适合家庭带小孩;有一个房子下面有双车库,另一个外边有双车库是迷惑项;有个房子internal需要decorate,题目里说需要painting;另一个房子是房间已经update过了;还有一个房子是很小但是可以扩大,并且有风格特色,忘了是不是前面其中的一个。
2011年雅思IELTS作文题目汇总-最全版第一篇:2011年雅思IELTS作文题目汇总-最全版雅思写作机经汇总之2011年大作文2011-1-8(科技类)Some people think that robots are very important for humans' future development.Others, however, think that robots are a dangerous invention that could have negative effects on society.Discuss both views and give your opinion.本次写作考试点评:大作文是关于机器人的问题,属于旧题,难度不大,而且讨论类的提问方式,考生可以清晰地写出文章的结构框架,考生应注意科技类信息和词汇的补充,并从社会角度探讨科技进步带来的利弊。
2011-1-15(社会类)The workplace nowadays is trying to employ the equal number of females and males.Do you think it is a positive or negative trend?本次写作考试点评:大作文工作类的辩论题目,这一趋势在2010年下半年已经凸显,考生应在今后考试中重视此类题目的准备。
本题可根据具体情况进行两面分析:如这样做保证了男女在就业方面的平等,是社会进步的体现;但不考虑到具体岗位设置及性别差异,也会带来一些弊端。
2011-1-22(社会类)Today there is a great increase in anti-social behaviors and lack of respect to others.What are the causes of this? Who should take responsibility for dealing with it? 本次写作考试点评:大作文属于问题分析型,可以用四段式布局,一段讨论原因,一段讨论责任承担方以及理由。
雅思作文6分英文回答:In today's globalized world, intercultural communication is becoming increasingly important. However, the question of which language should be used as the primary medium of communication between people from different cultures is a complex one with no easy answer.On the one hand, there is a strong case to be made for using a single global language. A universal language would facilitate communication, break down barriers between people, and promote understanding and cooperation. It would also make it easier for people to travel, work, and study in different countries.One of the most commonly proposed global languages is English. English is already the most widely spoken language in the world, and it is the official language of many international organizations, including the United Nations.As such, it has a strong claim to being the global language of communication.However, there are also strong arguments to be made against the use of a single global language. Some people argue that it would lead to the loss of cultural diversity. If everyone spoke the same language, there would be less need to learn other languages, and this could lead to the extinction of many smaller languages.Others argue that a global language would be unfair to people who do not speak it as their first language. They would be at a disadvantage in communication, and they might be excluded from important conversations.Ultimately, the question of whether or not to adopt a single global language is a complex one with no easy answer. There are strong arguments to be made both for and against such a move.中文回答:当今世界日益全球化,跨文化沟通变得越来越重要。
2011年全年亚太地区雅思写作A类真题与分析胡义祥致本机经阅读者:1:本机经为独立原创雅思写作机经。
任何人不得转载和盗用。
2:本机经因某些原因,不能完全阐述雅思写作方法与技巧。
详细讲解请留意公共主页近期推出的在线互动课程。
3:本机经非最终版本,因此本机经涉及的学术方面内容,如有疑问,欢迎提出宝贵意见。
4:本机经与预测无关。
各种伪名师、小机构可以作为学习材料使用,使用时请牢记出处。
5:本机经最后修改日期为2011-11-08胡义祥简介:新航道雅思写作主讲,具有纯正的学院派英文背景,零八年至今负责雅思高分班写作教学。
独特的高分策略和新锐的教学风格垫定了每位学员的高分基础。
属八零后人士,具有轻度完美主义及八零后典型特征。
英文名Gene Hu,因资历深厚,被学生称为“新航道G爷”。
(摘自新航道学校官方网站)联系方式:人人网个人主页:/genehu人人网公共主页:/600872045雅思大作文整体框架结构分析以下所述“雅思大作文框架结构”是我在雅思高分班上课的部分内容。
因为某些原因,不便在此详细阐述。
大致情况如下,考生可自行理解。
Introduction: 1:discuss类型题目,两句话:话题+讨论(33-38字左右)2: 其他类型题目,三句话:主题+话题+观点(38-43字左右)Main body : 两段或者三段论证中心五大类题型中,有两类中间部分是两段,其他三类,中间部分是三段.论证方法:对比,因果,举例,分步每段句子结构: 1+2+2每段话字数约为5*15= 75字(三段) 或者5*18=90字Conclusion 总结概括: 总结+附加说明(30字左右)或者回答第二个问题(50字左右)文章总体字数约为: 40+200+ 40= 280字注:雅思大作文字数不要超过320字,否则会对文章的中心,文章的基本结构以及写作时间造成影响,因此超过320字的例文可以不用学习,对于考生而言,它们几乎没有学习价值。
2011.1.8Some people think that robots are very important for humans' future development. Others, however, think that robots are a dangerous invention that could have negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.一些人认为机器人对于人类未来的发展是非常重要的。
其他人则认为机器人是一种具有危害性的发明并会给社会带来消极的影响。
讨论双方观点,并给出你自己的观点。
此文的主题实际上就是科学技术对人类社会的影响。
当然,此题目将科技产品限定到了机器人,这是雅思作文的一次创新,之前基本上都是电脑、网络和手机。
【正反:机器人对社会的影响是积极的】1.机器人可以代替人类做很多的事情,比如帮人们处理数据,机器人会比人类精确地很多,因为近期人不会像人类会有马虎的情况。
2.很多人类的体能无法做到的事情,机器人都是能做的。
比如帮助考古学家探险,会有一些崎岖的地形或是人类无法进入的隧道,比如没有氧气等这样的地方,机器人都是可以进入的。
3.机器人还可以用来照顾一些弱势群体,不如盲人或是老年人。
【反方:机器人对社会的影响是消极的】1.机器人毕竟是没有感情的,人们依赖于机器人,实际上减少了与人的沟通。
2.机器人很昂贵,很多人根本买不起。
3.依赖于机器人实际上是省下了自己的体力或是脑力,但是久而久之,就会使人类不善于思考,人们的动手能力和动脑能力都会下降。
2011.1.15Workplace nowadays is trying to employ the equal number of females and males.Do you think it is a positive or negative trend?如今工作场合都在试图雇佣等量的男女员工,你觉得这种现象是好是坏?好处:1.增加女性工作机会,提升女性社会地位(social status)2. 保证了男女在就业方面的平等,即:性别平等(gender equality),没有性别歧视(sexual discrimination),是社会进步的体现(development of civilization)坏处:1.没有考虑到具体岗位设置,有的岗位需要更多的男性或女性2.男女雇员的擅长领域(characteristics and competence)不同2011.01.22There are an increasing number of anti-social behaviors in recent years. People generally believe that the society is to blame.What do you think the causes are and who is responsible for this.近年来的反社会行为日益增加,多数人认为这是社会的责任。
●批改By Will本次批改严格按照ILETS大作文评分标准进行。
ILETS大作文评分项:TR (论证扣题度), CC (连贯性及一致性), GRA (语法范围及精准度), LR (词汇资源)。
文末会进行总评及打分。
●文中标识:用词不当逻辑错误语法错误修改添加In recent years, medical care has been increasingly advancing which (注意你指的是前面一整段话,which前要加逗号改为非限制性的。
) results in the much longer life span than ever before. This brings both strength and drawbacks (你每次写strength和drawback这两个词的时候最好把对象也说出来:This not only strengthens our entire species in terms of physical condition, but also brings a number of drawbacks to our community at the same time.). In my opinion, the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.Admittedly, the increase of life expectancy will individually improve the sense of happiness (用词改进:may lead to a higher satisfaction of life). When one has the opportunity to enjoy the longer life, that means much more time can be spent with their family members. In addition, as the medical care advancing (用词改进:the effect of such advancement reaches far beyond expectancy.In other words, not only... ), not only a much longer life but also a much healthier life would be achieved for everyone. Then people are highly likely to retire from work later than once did, accompanied by creating more value for the whole society. For example, as one aging, he becomes increasingly experienced in terms of special filed which he is always involved in. if the retirement time is prolonged, economical or social value will be continually available. (这个太像解释了不是例子,不是实际生活中发生的而是你的推测。
1. 作文题目:Competitiveness is a positive quality for people in most societies. How does competitiveness affect individuals? Is it a positive or negative trend?2.考生原文In modern societies, competitiveness is one of the most important qualities and also a key for one to survive and thrive. In my opinion, not only would competitiveness bring advantages on individuals but also disadvantages.One of the sound influences competitiveness brings is that a higher competitiveness grants an individual with a higher possibility of leading a better life and social status. This could be clearly demonstrated by the fact that those with higher competitiveness are more likely to show uniqueness and leadership. This could be greatly appreciated by the employers. Therefore, they would get more opportunities in work and create stronger productivity for the company. In a word, competitiveness is intimately close to the quality of one’s life.Some other adverse impacts could also be accompanied by the competitiveness. For example, a sense of competitiveness may sometimes block one’s vision. In other words, people concentrating on competitiveness may focus too much on the short-term effects. as we all know, in the intensely competitive society, it is hard for some small chemistry industries to survive and thriveamong these flourishing industries. This could result in the fact that some industries with low productivity would probably cut back on the salaries of the employees and leave out the cost of environment preservation. Despitethis could improve the competitiveness during the short time, it eventually would end upthe bankruptcy of the enterprise resulted from the dissatisfaction of the employees and deterioration of the environment.Thus, there is no doubt that competitiveness probably keeps one the higher ability of survival. However, paying more attention on the competitiveness also likely cause a big disaster for the individual or the whole team.3.老师批改•文中标识:用词不当逻辑错误语法错误修改添加In modern societies, competitiveness is one of the most important qualities and also a key for one to survive and thrive. In my opinion, not only would competitiveness bring advantages on individuals but also disadvantages. (开头没问题,可以添加一些背景信息,例:The increasing population density has triggered much competition in major communities all around the world, and individual competitive ness has been put on much emphasis as one of the most important elements to succeed.)One of the sound influences competitiveness brings is that a higher competitiveness grants an individual with a higher possibility of leading a better life and social status. This could be clearly demonstrated by the fact that those with higher competitiveness are more likely to show uniqueness and leadership. This could be greatly appreciated by the employers(这里可以举例子,讲述一下竞争力的具体表现形式有哪些,例如: qualification, communication skill等等。
不然只说竞争力显得很空洞).Therefore, they would get more opportunities in work and create stronger productivity for the company. In a word, competitiveness is intimately close to the quality of one’s life.Some other adverse impacts could also be accompanied by the competitiveness. For example, a sense of competitiveness may sometimes block one’s vision. In other words, people concentrating on competitiveness may focus too much on the short-term effects. as(务必注意大小写 As) we all know, in the intensely competitive society, it is hard for some small chemistry industries to survive and thrive(用多了,开头用过了,换词,例:mark their positions)among these flourishing industries. This could result in the fact that some industries with low productivity would probably cut back on the salaries of the employees and leave out the cost of environment preservation. Despitethis could improve the competitiveness during the short time, (注意这个词是介词,改为: Despite the fact that...) it eventually would end up(加一个with)the bankruptcy of the enterprise resulted from the dissatisfaction of the employees and deterioration of the environment.Thus, there is no doubt that competitiveness probably keeps one the higher ability of survival. However, paying more attention on the competitiveness also likely cause a big disaster for the individual or the whole team.4.作文总评批改 by Angela 令狐本次批改严格按照IELTS小作文评分标准进行。
IELTS小作文评分项:TA (内容的完整性), CC (连贯性及一致性), GRA (语法范围及精准度), LR (词汇资源)。
文末会进行总评及打分。
总评 6 (TR6.0 CC6.5 LR6.0 GRA6)1.内容上基本准确,双边也完整了,但是没有把竞争力具体定义出来是唯一的缺陷。
2.连接词运用不错,逻辑也比较顺畅,分段准确。