英语短文
如何避免冲孩子发脾气
Nearly every parent loses control and screams at the children now and then. But what if you do it repeatedly?
几乎每一位父母都有情绪失控和对孩子高声叫嚷的时候。但如果你频频如此呢?
Researchers suspect parents are yelling more. Parents have been conditioned to avoid spanking, so they vent their anger and frustration by shouting instead. Three out of four parents yell, scream or shout at their children or teens about once a month, on average, for misbehaving or making them angry, research shows. Increasingly, therapists and parenting experts are homing in on how it hurts a child, as well as how to stop it.
研究人员猜测，父母如今吼孩子比以前更频繁了。父母已
经习惯于不动手打孩子屁股，因此他们会通过大喊大叫来发泄愤怒和不满。研究显示，四分之三的父母会因家中幼童或青少年犯错误或惹他们生气而吼叫、尖叫或大喊，平均每月一次。治疗师和家庭教育专家正越来越多地关注这类行为会对孩子产生何种伤害以及如何阻止这类行为。
Raising your voice isn’t always bad. Loudly describing a problem can call attention to it without hurting anyone, says Adele Faber, a parenting trainer in Roslyn Heights, N.Y., and co-author of ‘How to Be the Parent You Always Wanted to Be.’ For example: ‘I just mopped the kitchen floor and now it is covered with muddy footprints.’
提高嗓门并不总是坏事。纽约州罗斯林海茨(Roslyn Heights)的育儿培训师、《怎样成为理想中的父母》(How to Be the Parent You Always Wanted to Be)一书作者之一阿黛尔・费伯(Adele Faber)称，大声描述一个问题能在不伤害任何人的情况下引起关注。例如：“我刚刚拖过厨房地板，现在又被踩得到处是泥。”
Yelling becomes damaging when it is a personal attack, belittling or blaming a child with statements such as ‘Why can’t you ever remember?’ or, ‘You always get this wrong!’ Ms. Faber says.
但费伯说，当你把吼叫作为人身攻击，用“你不能长点记性吗?”或者“你总是做错!”这种话来责备或挖苦孩子时，就会给孩
子带来伤害。
Many parents lose control because they take children’s misbehavior or rebellion personally, research shows: They feel attacked or think the child’s actions reflect poorly on them. Parents who see a child’s negative emotions as unexpected, overwhelming and upsetting tend to feel more threatened and frustrated with each new outburst, says a study published earlier this month in the Journal of Family Psychology. This pattern, called ‘emotional flooding,’triggers a downward spiral in the relationship, disrupting the parent’s problem-solving ability and fueling emotional reactions, such as yelling.
许多父母情绪失控是因为他们对孩子的错误或叛逆行为太较真。研究显示，他们会感觉自己受到攻击，或者认为孩子的行为让他们颜面尽失。《家庭心理学期刊》(Journal of Family Psychology)早些时候刊登的一项研究称，认为孩子的负面情绪出人意料、让人无所适从和令人沮丧的父母，往往会在孩子每次出现新的情绪爆发时产生更强烈的受威胁和挫败感。这种模式被称为“情绪崩溃”，会导致亲子关系陷入下行螺旋，扰乱父母解决问题的能力并催生吼叫等情绪反应。
Teens whose parents use ‘harsh verbal discipline’such as shouting or insults are more likely to have behavior
problems and depression symptoms, says a recent study of 976 middle-class adolescents and their parents, published online last September and led by Ming-Te Wang, an assistant professor of psychology and education at the University of Pittsburgh.
近期一项对976名中产阶层青少年和他们父母的调查显示，被父母用喊叫或辱骂等方式进行“严厉语言管教”的青少年更容易有行为问题和抑郁症状。该调查去年9月份刊登在网上，由匹兹堡大学(University of Pittsburgh)心理学和教育学助理教授王明德(音)领导。
Another study suggests yelling at children may have consequences that go beyond those of spanking. Eight-year-olds whose parents disciplined them by yelling have less satisfying relationships with romantic partners and spouses at age 23, according to a 15-year study led by Stephanie Parade, an assistant professor of psychiatry and human behavior at Brown University. ‘Parents who yell may miss out on a chance to teach children to regulate their emotions,’ she says.
另一项研究暗示，对孩子吼叫带来的后果可能比打屁股更严重。布朗大学(Brown University) 精神病学和人类行为学助理教授斯蒂芬妮・帕拉德(Stephanie Parade)领导的一项为期15年的研究显示，八岁时父母通过吼叫来管教的孩子到23岁时与恋爱伴侣和配偶之间的关系不太令人满意。她说：“大喊大叫的父母可能会错过
