经典趣味英语笑话四则
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读英文的笑话笑话1:Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent!笑话2:Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!笑话3:I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.笑话4:I bought shoes from a drug dealer once. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!笑话5:I asked the librarian if she had any books on paranoia. She whispered, "They're right behind you!"笑话6:Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!笑话7:Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!笑话8:I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.笑话9:I saw a wino eating grapes. I told him, "You have to wait!"笑话10:I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually, it came back to me.笑话11:Why don't eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!笑话12:What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!笑话13:My friend told me that I should be more optimistic. I said, "Okay, I'm positive!"笑话14:I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.笑话15:Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He will stop at nothing to avoid them!笑话16:Why don't calculators go to the beach? Because they can't handle the waves!笑话17:What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!笑话18:I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.笑话19:I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.笑话20:Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!笑话21:I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.笑话22:What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner!笑话23:Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs!笑话24:I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.笑话25:Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems!笑话26:What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!笑话27:Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!笑话28:I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.笑话29:What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!笑话30:Why don't calculators go to the beach? Because they can't handle the waves!以上是30个英文笑话的集合,希望你能通过阅读它们,享受一段愉快的时光并大笑一番!笑话的目的是为了带给我们快乐和轻松,让我们忘记生活中的压力和烦恼。
关于英语幽默笑话短_幽默笑话短信在这个快节奏的生活中,找点乐子成了我们不可或缺的调味剂。
而英语幽默笑话,就像是那杯午后的咖啡,提神又醒脑,让人在不经意间笑出声。
今天,就让我带你走进那些让人捧腹的英语幽默笑话,一起感受那些简单却充满智慧的快乐瞬间,说不定还能笑出腹肌呢!一、误解也疯狂记得有一次,我在一个国际交友平台上遇到了一个英国朋友,名叫Tom。
我们聊得很投机,直到有一天,他给我发了一条信息:“I’m so hungry, I could eat a horse!” 我一看,心里咯噔一下,心想:“这哥们儿是不是饿疯了?要吃马?”正当我紧张地想要安慰他时,他突然发来一个笑脸符号,解释说:“哈哈,这是句英国俚语,意思是‘我饿得能吃下一头牛’!”我这才恍然大悟,原来英语里的表达有时候这么直接又夸张,让人忍俊不禁。
从那以后,每次我觉得饿极了,就会半开玩笑地说:“I could eat a horse too!”二、单词游戏的乐趣还有一次,我和几个英语爱好者朋友聚在一起玩“单词接龙”。
轮到我的时候,我灵光一闪,说了一个“banana”(香蕉)。
下一个朋友稍作思考,接了个“analyst”(分析师)。
轮到下一位时,他明显卡壳了,眉头紧锁。
我们都以为他要输了,结果他突然眼睛一亮,大喊:“Stop! I’ve got it! Spyglass!”(等等!我想到了!望远镜!)原来,他是把“analyst”倒过来念成了“tsylana”,然后巧妙地加上了“ss”和“pyg”变成了“spyglass”。
那一刻,我们都被他的机智逗乐了,这场游戏也因此变得更加有趣和富有挑战性。
三、短信里的幽默宝藏在手机短信盛行的年代,我也收到过不少让人捧腹的英语幽默短信。
其中一条至今让我记忆犹新:“Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”(为什么科学家不信任原子?因为它们总是编造一切!)这句简短却充满讽刺意味的话,用科学的术语包装了一个日常生活中的笑话,让人在会心一笑的同时,也感受到了英语的魅力。
英语幽默笑话笑话一:一只鸟的英语水平有一只鸟飞到了一家语言学校的窗户上,看到窗户上写着:“免费学习英语,从零开始。
”于是,它翘起了尾巴,挺起了胸脯,然后大声地说道:“Polly wants a cracker!”(小鹦鹉想要个饼干!)这时,里面的老师听到了声音,走过来看窗户,发现了一只鸟。
老师开玩笑说:“你来这里学习英语吗?”鸟点点头。
老师继续说:“那你可以念一句英文的经典名言吗?”鸟听后想了一下,然后顺利地说道:“Early to bed, early to rise, makes abird healthy, wealthy, and wise!”(早睡早起使鸟健康、富有和聪明!)老师忍不住惊讶地说:“哇,你的英语真是棒极了!你是怎么学会的?”鸟笑着回答:“Well, actually I learned English from none other than Polly the Parrot!”(嗯,其实我是从鹦鹉波利那里学的英语!)笑话二:失踪的手机一天晚上,一位英国中学生在回家的路上,不小心将他的手机掉在了路上。
等他发现手机丢了,已经回到家了,于是他告诉他的爸爸发生了什么事情。
爸爸安慰他说:“别担心,我帮你打个电话,看看能不能找到手机。
”于是爸爸打了个电话,手机立刻就响了起来,但是声音却传来的十分奇怪。
爸爸听后说:“嗨,我是XX的爸爸。
你找到了我儿子的手机吗?”手机那头传来一个陌生的声音:“是的,我找到了。
你是他爸爸吗?”爸爸回答:“是的,我是他爸爸。
”手机那头的声音又问:“那你能告诉我他的厕所在哪里吗?我正躲在这儿接你的电话呢!”笑话三:英语课上的问题一天在英语课上,老师问学生们一个问题:“如果今天是过去的昨天,明天是过去的明天,那么今天是星期几?”结果所有的学生都陷入了沉思,似乎没有一个学生能够回答出这个问题。
就在这时,一个学生举手回答道:“老师,今天是星期二。
”老师听后很惊讶地问他:“为什么你认为今天是星期二?”学生回答:“因为我们是星期一上的英语课!”笑话四:一个有趣的对话一位美国人和一位英国人在一家酒吧里坐在一起,开始聊天。
英语小笑话(经典版)编制人:__________________审核人:__________________审批人:__________________编制单位:__________________编制时间:____年____月____日序言下载提示:该文档是本店铺精心编制而成的,希望大家下载后,能够帮助大家解决实际问题。
文档下载后可定制修改,请根据实际需要进行调整和使用,谢谢!并且,本店铺为大家提供各种类型的经典范文,如工作总结、工作计划、策划方案、规章制度、合同协议、条据文书、心得体会、教学资料、作文大全、其他范文等等,想了解不同范文格式和写法,敬请关注!Download tips: This document is carefully compiled by this editor. I hope that after you download it, it can help you solve practical problems. The document can be customized and modified after downloading, please adjust and use it according to actual needs, thank you!Moreover, our store provides various types of classic sample essays for everyone, such as work summaries, work plans, planning plans, rules and regulations, contract agreements, documents, experiences, teaching materials, complete essays, and other sample essays. If you want to learn about different sample formats and writing methods, please pay attention!英语小笑话英语小笑话(通用20篇)英语小笑话作为一种城市化的民间口头创作体裁,是一种重要的交际手段。
经典英语小笑话大全爆笑善讲笑活,很受各种社交场台的欢迎,因为人们喜欢与机敏活泼、幽默风趣的人交往。
下面是店铺带来的经典爆笑英语小笑话,欢迎阅读! 经典爆笑英语小笑话篇一寻找出纳员 Looking for a CashierThere was a banker who attended a dinner party, and a friend said to him, "Oh! I heard that your bank is looking for a cashier," and the banker said "Yes, yes, we are, we are." And then the friend said, "But I thought you just hired one a few weeks ago."So the banker replied, "Yes, yes, indeed, we did. That's the one we're looking for now."So the friend said, "Can you describe him? What does he look like?" And the banker replied, "Well, he is about five feet tall and (we're about) one hundred thousand dollars short."晚宴上,有位银行家坐在那儿,他的朋友问他:“我听说你们银行在找一位出纳,是吗?”银行家回答:“是的,我们是在找。
”朋友说:“不过你们几个礼拜以前不是已经请到一个人了吗?”银行家说:“我们确实是雇用了一个人,而我们现在就是在找这个人。
四则趣味英语幽默笑话下面是店铺整理的四则经典趣味英语笑话,希望大家喜欢!经典英语笑话:还是家里好A surgeon returned from a safari in Africa.一位外科医生刚从非洲狩猎回来。
"How did it go?" asked his colleagues.“这次打猎顺利吗?,’同僚问道。
"Oh , it was very disappointing," replied thesurgeon.“喔,实在太令人失望了,”外科医生答道。
"I didn't kill a thing. In fact, I'd have been better off staying here in the hospital. "“我什么也没猎杀到,实际上,还是待在医院里比较有成就感。
”经典英语笑话:你真是有问题A man reported to his doctor that he was having trouble going to thebathroom',event)">bathroom.一位老兄对医生说明他上厕所有困难。
"Do you urinate in the morning?" asked the doctor.“你早上有小便吗?,’医生问他。
"Yeah, every morning at six o'clock. "“有,每天早上六点钟。
”"And how are your bowel movements?"“那大便情况如何?""Seven o'clock every morning, just like clockwork. "“像时钟一样,我每天准时七点钟上大号。
英语幽默笑话(优秀10篇)英国人有他们独特的英式幽默,他们流传的英语冷笑话让人会心一笑,今天,小编给同学们收集、整理了几则特别有趣的英语冷笑话,希望大家能开心开心,一起来看看吧! 篇一一、The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.It#39;s all right, said a gentleman, don#39;t be afraid. Don#39;t you know the proverb: Barking dogs don#39;t bite?Ah, yes, answered the little girl. I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
“没有关系,”一位先生说,“不用害怕,你知道这条谚语吗:吠狗不咬人。
;”“啊,我是知道,可是狗也知道吗?”二、One student to another: How are your English lessons coming along?Fine. I used to be one who couldn#39;t understand the English men, and now it#39;s the English men who can#39;t understand me.一位学生对另一位说:“你的英语最近学的怎么样?”“很好,我过去不懂英国人说话,可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。
”三、An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman:#39; How much this stuff?#39;#39;Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap.#39;The lady said, #39;It is too much, give it to me for fourteen.#39;#39;I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven.#39;#39;It is still too much,#39; replie()d the old lady, #39;give it to me for five.#39;一位耳聋并且总是嫌东西太贵的老太太走进一家商店。
简短有趣的英文笑话大全冷笑话是近几年新兴的一种语言现象,它轻松诙谐、别具一格,给我们紧张的生活增添了几分轻松的情趣,它一出现便受到了大多数人的喜爱。
店铺整理了简短有趣的英文笑话,欢迎阅读!简短有趣的英文笑话篇一好消息和坏消息An artist asked the gallery ownerif there had been any interestin his paintings currently ondisplay.一名艺术家问画廊老板,最近有没有人对他展出的画感兴趣。
"I've got good news and bad news,"owner replied.“这有好消息和坏消息,”老板回答。
"The good news is thata gentleman inquired about your workand wondered if it wouldappreciate in value after your death.“好消息是有一位先生咨询你的作品,他想知道在你死后你的画会不会升值。
When I told him it would,he bought all fifteen of your paintings.我告诉他你的画会升值,他就把你的15幅画全都买走了。
”"That's wonderful!"the artist exclaimed,"What's the bad news?"“真是太好了”,艺术家是喜形于色,“那坏消息是什么?”With concern, the gallery owner replied,"The guy was your doctor."带着关心的口吻,画廊老板回答,“买画的人是你的医生”。
简短有趣的英文笑话篇二倒霉的一天There was a guy in a bar, just looking at his drink.一个男人坐在酒吧里,看着自己的酒发呆。
与英语有关的笑话笑话一:英语考试的难题有一天,小明参加了英语考试。
考试题目非常难,根本不知道如何下手。
小明看着试卷上的第一道题,上面写着:“请用英语翻译下面的句子:‘我的猫在屋子里睡觉’。
”他想了一会儿,终于决定回答:“My cat sleeps in the room.” 结果,他错了!笑话二:拼写错误的尴尬在一个英语课上,老师问小明:“请你在黑板上拼写‘电视’这个单词。
”小明听到后,自信满满地上前去写。
他认真地写下了“T-E-L-E-V-S-I-O-N”这个单词。
全班爆发出一阵笑声,可是小明却不明白大家在笑什么。
笑话三:英语学习的困惑小李正在学习英语的时候碰到了一个很难理解的词汇 - "heteronym"(同音异形词)。
他询问了老师,老师解释说:“就是不同的单词拼写相同但读音和意思不同。
”小李听后恍然大悟,他说:“噢,你的意思是‘homonym’(同音同形词)吧!”老师苦笑着点了点头。
笑话四:音标的误解小红正在努力学习英语的发音。
有一天,她看到一个生词“schedule”(日程表),但不知道它的正确读音。
她问了很多人,但得到的回答都不尽相同。
最终,她决定向老师请教。
老师在她的本子上写下了正确的发音:“/ˈʃɛd.juːl/”,小红看了之后茅塞顿开,满怀信心地说:“哦,看来它读作'sked-yule'。
”笑话五:语法解释的幽默小明在英语课上学习了形容词的比较级和最高级。
他灵机一动,想到了一个搞笑的问题:“老师,如果'good'的比较级是'better',那最高级是不是'bester'?”全班哄然大笑,而小明尴尬地明白了自己的错误。
笑话六:难以理解的字母顺序小张学习英语的时候遇到了一个难题,他对于字母表的顺序感到困惑。
他问了老师:“老师,为什么字母表中U和I的顺序不是按照字母表顺序排列的?”老师微笑着回答:“因为UI是一个表情符号,表示‘你和我’。
英语搞笑笑话6篇幽默寓于笑话之中,它是笑话的精料,智慧之所在。
笑话是幽默的载体,一个成功的笑话能流传千古。
下面是店铺整理的英语搞笑笑话,欢迎大家阅读!英语搞笑笑话一:How can I get into heaven 我怎么才能上天堂"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the poor, would I get into heaven?" I asked the children in my Sunday school class."No!" the children all answered."If I cleaned the church everyday, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?"Again, the answer was, "No!""Well, " I continued, "then how can I get into heaven?"A five-year-old boy shouted out, "You gotta be dead!"“如果我把房子和车卖了,在车库举行义卖, 并把所有的钱给穷人,我能进天堂吗?”我问主日学校的孩子。
孩子们齐声回答:“不能!”“那如果我每天都打扫教堂,给院子的草坪割草,并且把东西都收拾得干净整洁,我会上天堂吗?”回答还是:“不能!”“好吧,”我继续问, “那我要怎样才能升天堂呢?”一个五岁的男孩儿叫道:“你得死了才行!”英语搞笑笑话二:I Want Her to go NutsMrs. Flinders decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant.""But you're not wearing any of those things.""I know," said Mrs. Flinders." It's in case I should die beforemy husband. I'm sure he'd remarry right away, and I want her to go nuts looking for the jewelry."福林德斯夫人决定让人给她画肖像。
最搞笑的英语小笑话十则生活中怎么能少了笑话来调味一下我们乏味枯燥的日常呢?一则搞笑的小笑话就能让我们原本苦恼的心情立刻变得像春天的鲜花一样灿烂,店铺为你准备了非常搞笑的英语笑话及其翻译,希望你的生活像夏日的阳光一样!搞笑的英语小笑话1:Expensive PriceDentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I'll have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your son's tooth.Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction.Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office.昂贵的代价牙科医生:对不起,夫人,为给您的儿子拔牙,我得收二十五美元。
母亲:二十五美元!可是我知道您拔一颗牙只要五美元呀?牙科医生:是的。
但是您儿子这么大声地叫唤,他都吓跑四位病人了搞笑的英语小笑话2:I Wasn't AsleepWhen a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!""I wasn't asleep," the man answered."Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed.""I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car."我没有睡着当一群妇女上车之后,车上的座位全都被占满了。
英语小幽默笑话一、教室里的笑话一天,小明走进教室,发现黑板上写着一行字:“I'm very good!(我很好!)”于是他皱了皱眉,拿起粉笔在旁边写了一行字:“I'm good too, thank you!(我也很好,谢谢!)”当小明坐下时,他才发现旁边的黑板上写着:“I'm a blackboard!(我是一个黑板!)”二、动物园里的笑话John 去动物园里参观。
他走到狮子旁边,然后用手指挖狮子笼子外面一点点的土。
突然,狮子怒吼一声,跳到笼子外面。
John 吓得立刻跑了起来。
然而,狮子并没有追赶他,反而开始用爪子挖土,好像在等待什么。
John 一边跑一边回头看,这时突然明白过来,原来狮子是在等着他掏出足够多的土,这样狮子就可以把他的手指当早餐了。
三、医院里的笑话将军身体不适,于是他去了医院。
医生给将军把脉后说:“将军,您需要多休息,少工作。
”将军愤怒地说:“我是将军,我必须站在最前线,为国家效力!”医生点点头,继续说道:“我明白了,将军。
那么我们就把床移到最前线吧!”四、旅行的笑话一个美国人,一个英国人和一个中国人一起参加了一个环球旅行团。
当他们来到一个孤岛时,他们被困在那里了。
他们决定每人去找各自国家的救援。
一个月后,美国人挨饿了,但看到了一点希望。
他用信号枪向天空发出了SOS。
几天后,一架直升飞机来把他救走了。
两个月后,英国人饿得快死了,但他坚信救援一定会来。
于是他写了一封希望的信并抛入大海。
几天后,一个军舰把他救了起来。
而中国人一直没有食物,他只好靠椰子充饥。
六个月后,他终于爬到了岛的最高峰,大喊一声:“我是第一批到达这个岛屿的人!”五、餐厅里的笑话一位顾客走进餐厅,服务员领他坐下,然后递给他菜单。
一会儿,服务员走过来问:“先生,您想点什么?”顾客犹豫了一下,然后说道:“给我请一个有人性的厨师。
”服务员笑笑,离开了。
等了一会儿,服务员回来了,手上端着一个镜子。
他把镜子递给顾客说:“先生,这是我们厨师的倒影。
英语幽默笑话集锦笑话1:鸡蛋的问题小明问小华:“你怎么知道一个鸡蛋是生的还是熟的?”小华:“很简单,我把鸡蛋放进水里,如果浮起来就是生的,如果沉下去就是熟的。
”小明:“那如果鸡蛋半浮半沉呢?”小华:“那就是半生不熟。
”笑话2:打电话小明用英语给外国朋友打电话:“Hello! Is it Mr. Brown’s residence?”外国朋友说:“I’m sorry, you have the wrong number.”小明再打一次:“Hello! Is it Mrs. Brown’s residence?”外国朋友愤怒地说:“No, I told you already, you have the wrong number!”小明再打一次:“Hello! Is it Mr. Brown’s residence?”外国朋友非常生气:“I can’t believe you called me again! This is not Mr. Brown’s residence!”小明笑着说:“I know, but I just love hearing you say it!”笑话3:父亲的损失小明的父亲对他说:“小明,你知道我为什么戴假发吗?”小明好奇地问:“为什么呢?”父亲严肃地回答:“因为我是个有发言权的人。
”笑话4:天堂和地狱有一天,人们来到上帝面前询问天堂和地狱的存在。
他们问上帝:“天堂和地狱是什么样子的?”上帝微笑着回答:“我带你们去看一看。
”首先,上帝打开了通向地狱的门。
门一打开,他们看到里面是一个宴会厅,摆满了美食和饮料,但每个人手中都拿着又长又粗的筷子,无法把食物送入嘴中。
接着,上帝带着他们去了天堂。
天堂的门打开后,他们看到了和地狱一样的情景,宴会厅里也是美食和饮料满满,每个人同样手中拿着又长又粗的筷子。
但人们却高兴地吃得很满足,因为在天堂里,他们都学会了相互喂食。
笑话5:自动售货机小明走到一个自动售货机前,看见上面写着:“请用英语选择您要购买的商品。
英语小笑话,英语笑话大全(带翻译)下面是编辑整理的英语小笑话,希望能让您捧腹大笑!英语小笑话【一】1、The Fish NetCan you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.翻译:鱼网你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗,安? 老师发问道。
把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。
小女孩回答道。
2、律师和胳膊、宝马A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW."Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer", he whined."You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off"翻译:一个律师打开他的宝马车门,突然一辆汽车驶过来把门撞飞了,警察赶到现场,律师正痛苦地抱怨毁坏了他心爱的宝马。
“警察同志,看看他们把我的车弄的”律师哀怨地说。
英语幽默笑话汇总下面是店铺整理的英语幽默笑话大全,欢迎大家阅读!英语幽默笑话一:可怜的男人A man sat at a bar, had the saddest hangdog expression.Bartender: "What's the matter? Are you having troubles with your wife?"The man: "We had a fight, and she told me that she wasn't going to speak to me for a month."Bartender: "That should make you happy."The man: "No, the month is up today!"一个男人坐在酒吧里,伤心至极。
酒吧招待:“你怎么了?跟老婆闹矛盾了?”男人:“我们吵了一架,她说一个月都不跟我说话。
”酒吧招待:“那你应该高兴才是啊!”男人:“不,今天是这个月的最后一天。
”英语幽默笑话二:太黑了,看不见After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."晚饭后,父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将,这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来,便对正在看电视的儿子说道:“宝贝,去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢?” 过了一会儿,儿子回来说:“妈,厨房里太黑了,我根本就看不见。
幽默英语笑话合集4篇幽默英语笑话1a lady lost her handbag.it was found by an honest little boy and returned to her.looking in her purse,she commented,"hmmm....that's funny.when i lost my bag there was a$20bill in it.now there are twenty$1bills."一个女人丢了手提包,有一个诚实的小孩捡到后交还给了她。
她看了看钱包,说:“嗯,这么有趣,我丢的时候里面是一张20美元,现在成了20张一美元。
”the boy quickly replied,"that's right,lady.the last time i found a lady's purse,she didn't have any change for a reward."“没错,夫人。
”小男孩立刻回答道,“上次我捡到钱包时,那位夫人没有零钱奖赏给我。
”幽默英语笑话2幽默英语笑话**笑话由于其滑稽可笑的'特点而为人们长久以来所喜爱。
而人们对笑话的热衷与喜爱也促使人们在开怀捧腹的同时对笑话为何能够使人发笑这一问题进行思考。
阳光网小编精心收集了有关于幽默英语笑话,供大家欣赏学习!有关于幽默英语笑话:Goldfish PassingLittle Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence.Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to,he politely asked,"What are you doing there, Nancy?""My goldfish died,"replied Nancy tearfully without looking up, "and I've just buried him."The neighbor was very concerned."That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish,isn't it?"Nancy patted down the last heap of dirt then replied,"That's because he's inside your fricking cat."有关于幽默英语笑话:Playing Octopushis guy walks into a bar near a concert hall with an octopus under his arm and says,"I'll bet any of you that my octopus can play any instrument that you give him."Two guys bet fifty dollars each that the octopus can't play their instruments.The first guy hands over his French horn and the octopus starts to play it.The second guy hands over his tuba and sure enough the octopus starts to play it.The bartender then walks into the back room and comes back five minutes later with a set ofbagpipes and bets all the money in the drawer that the octopus wouldn't be able to play it.He hands over the bagpipes to the octopus and waits.After about a minute of watching the octopus run its tentacles over the bagpipe the owner of the octopus says,"Come on now!Playit!"The octopus replies,"What do you mean play it?!If I can figure out how to get the plaidpajamas off of it,I'm gonna screw it!"有关于幽默英语笑话:The Mime and the LionOne day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer.However,as soon as he starts to draw a crowd,the zookeeper grabs him and drags him into his office.The zookeeper explains to the mime that the zoo's most popular attraction,a gorilla,has died suddenly.The keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off.He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one.The mime accepts.The next morning,before the crowd arrives,the mime puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage.He discovers that it's a great job. He can sleep all he wants,play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime.However,eventually the crowds tire of him and he gets bored just swinging on tires.He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his.Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience,he climbs to the top of his cage,crawls across a partition,and dangles from the top to the lion's cage.Of course,this makes the lion furious,but the crowd loves it.At the end of the day the zookeeper comes and gives the mime a raise for being such a good attraction as a gorilla.Well,this goes on for some time.The mime keeps taunting the lion,the crowds grow larger,and his salary keeps going up.Then one terrible day when he is dangling over the furious lion,he slips and falls.The mime is terrified.The lion gathers itself and prepares to pounce.The mime is so scared that he begins to run round and round the cage with the lion close behind.Finally,the mime starts screaming and yelling,"Help,Help me!", but the lion is quick andpounces.The mime soon finds himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion and the lion says,"Shut up you idiot!Do you want to get us both fired?"幽默英语笑话3a sunday school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad.now,children,said she,has anyone of you ever made someone else glad?一个主日学校的老师正在对学生讲使别人高兴的重要性。
英语搞笑笑话10篇_幽默笑话带翻译阅读多阅读一些有趣的英语笑话,能激起我们阅读英语的兴趣,从而提高英语的阅读能力,今天店铺在这里为大家分享英语搞笑笑话10篇,欢迎大家阅读!英语搞笑笑话篇一An Absent Minded ProfessorA notoriously absentminded professor was one day observed walking along the street with one foot continually in the gutter,the other on the pavement. A pupil meeting him said:“Good evening,professor.How are you? “Well,” answered the professor,“I thought I was all right when I left home,but now I don't know what's the matter with me.I've been limping for the last half hour.”有一天,人们看见一个有名的心不在焉的老师在路上走,他的一只脚一直踏在街沟里,另一只脚踩在人行道上。
一个碰见他的学生说:“晚安,老师。
您怎么了?” “啊,”这位老师回答说:“我想我离开家的时候还挺好的,可是现在我不知道出了什么毛病。
我已经一瘸一拐走了半个小时了。
”英语搞笑笑话篇二It's His FaultBilly and Bobby were small boys.They were brothers,and they often had fights with each other. Last Saturday their mother said to them,“I'm going to cook our lunch now.Go out and play in the garden—and be goo d.” “Yes,Mummy,” the two boys answered,and they went out. They played in the garden for half an hour,and then Billy ran into the kitchen.“Mummy,” he said,“Bobby's broken a window in Mrs.Allen's house.” Mrs.Allen was one of their neighbors. “He's a bad boy,”his mother said.“How did he break it?” “I threw a stone at him,” Billy answered,“and he quickly moved down.”比利和波比都是小男孩。
经典英语笑话6篇英语笑话是指以一句英文短语或一个英文故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑,或是产生幽默感,笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言,笑话是一种艺术方法。
下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑笑话,欢迎大家阅读!英语笑话一:我要做的一切就是付钱!All I do is pay"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "Mywife is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war,and my daughter is foreign secretary.""Sounds interesting, " his colleague replied. "And what is yourposition?""I’m the people. All I do is pay."布朗先生告诉同事说:“我的家简直就象一个国家一样。
我妻子是财政部长。
我岳母是作战部长,我女儿是外交秘书。
”“听上去挺有意思的,”他的同事说,“那你的职务是什么呢?”“我就是老百姓。
我要做的一切就是付钱。
”英语笑话二:喂狗 For the DogThe family seated in a restaurant had finished their dinner when Father Called over the waiter."My son has left quite a lot of meat on his plate," explained Father, "Could you give me a bag so that I can take it home for the dog?""Gosh, Dad!" exclaimed the excited boy. "Have we got a dog then?"一家人在饭馆里吃过晚饭,父亲把服务生叫了过来。
英语搞笑笑话12篇带翻译下面是店铺整理的英语搞笑笑话,以供大家学习参考。
英语搞笑笑话:传教士买鹦鹉A preacher is buying a parrotA preacher is buying a parrot.一个传教士在买鹦鹉。
"Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asked the preacher.“你确信它不会尖叫,大叫或诅咒别人吗?”传教士问。
"Oh absolutely. He's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him.“噢,绝对不会。
它是一只虔诚的鹦鹉。
”店主向他保证。
"Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lord's prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm."“你看见它腿上的那些细绳了吗?当你拉动右边这根,它会背诵天主经;当你拉动左边那根,它会背诵赞美诗。
”"Wonderful!" says the preacher, "but what happens if you pull both strings?"“太棒了!”传教士说,“但是如果我同时拉动两根绳子,会发生什么呢?”"I fall off my perch, you stupid fool!" screeched the parrot.“我会从树干上掉下去,你这个笨蛋!”鹦鹉尖声说道。
英语搞笑笑话:谁才是有色人种Dear white, something you got to know亲爱的白种人,有几件事你必须知道。
经典趣味英语笑话四则
导读:我根据大家的需要整理了一份关于《经典趣味英语笑话四则》的内容,具体内容:下面是我整理的,希望大家喜欢!经典英语笑话:你说什么Moe, Larry and Curly had been stranded on a desert island....下面是我整理的,希望大家喜欢!
经典英语笑话:你说什么
Moe, Larry and Curly had been stranded on a desert island. They were walking alongdisconsolately when Moe happened to kick a bottle lying in the sand. The bottle broke and a genie suddenly emerged before them.
莫伊、赖利和卷毛因船触礁搁浅而被困在一个无人荒岛上,他们寂寞无助地沿岸边走着,这时莫伊踢到沙滩上一只瓶子,那只瓶子破了后,突然出现一个精灵。
"Thank you. oh Masters, for releasing me from my captivity. For your kindness, please allow me to grant you each a wish. "
"谢谢你们从囚禁我的瓶子中把我放出来,我的主人。
为了报答你们的恩惠,请让我为每位实现一个愿望。
"
"Well, its not too difficult to figure out what I want," said Moe. "I wish l were back home. "
"哦,我的愿望很容易想出来,"莫伊说。
"我希望我能回到家里。
"
No sooner had he said the words than he was back in dear old
Brooklyn.
话一说完,莫伊就已在他可爱的布鲁克林老家中。
"I want to be back home, too," said I Larry, and he, too, was instantly transported.
"我也想回家,"赖利说,他马上也就被送走了
" Gee, its lone some here without Moe and Larry," said Curly. "I wish they were here to keep me company. "
"唉,没有莫伊和赖利,一个人在这里真无聊,"卷毛说。
"我希望他们能回到这里陪伴我。
"
经典英语笑话:瞧瞧我的袜子
"Say, thats an interesting pair of socks youve got on, Charlie, one green and one red. "
"嘿,查理,你穿的这双袜子真有趣,一只绿色一只红色。
"
"Yeah, and Ive got another pair just like it at home."
"是吗,我家里还有一双同样的袜子呢。
"
经典英语笑话:你做的真好
Moe, Larry, and Curly were wandering in the Arabian desert when they were captured by a band of ferocious Bedouin.
莫伊。
赖利和卷毛三个傻瓜走在阿拉伯沙漠中时,一群残暴的贝都因人把他们抓了起来。
"By the code of the desert you miserable infidels must be destroyed," declared their savage leader. "Set up the guillotine !"
"依据我们沙漠的规定,你们这些可怜的异教徒必须被处死,"野蛮的首领说道。
"把断头台架设好。
"
Moe was the first to be ordered to the death instrument.
莫伊首先被命令上断头台,但令人惊讶的是,刀具落下时在接近脖子地方就停止不动了。
The blade descended but, amazingly, stopped just short of his neck.
"这是个奇迹!"这位阿拉伯人说道。
"把他放走!"
"Its a miracle! " declared the Arab. "Release him!"
接着赖利把头放在像剃刀刀片一样锐利的大刀之下,但又一次刀子在接近他的颈部地方停了下来。
Next, Larry placed his head under the huge, razor-sharp blade. But once again it stopped short of his neck.
"奉阿拉真主之命,又是另一个奇迹!"酋长又一次宣布。
"放了他!"
"By Allah, another miracle!" affirmed the sheik once more. "Release him! "
最后卷毛被带到那不吉利的断头台上,仔细察看后,他发现一块小木片挡住了刀锋的去路。
Finally, Curly was led to the ominous device. Looking closely he noticed a splinter of wood blocking the path of the blade.
"难怪它不发生作用,"他宣布道。
"Well, no wonder it,s not working," he announced.
"你们的问题就在这里......"
"Heres your problem right here."
经典英语笑话:许个愿吧
Every morning on his way to work, a businessman passed a house where he saw a woman beating her looy on the head with a loaf of bread.
每天早晨一位商人在上班途中都会经过一户人家,他总是看见一个女人用一条面包打她儿子的头部。
But on this particular day, he noticed that she was hitting him with a piece of chocolate cake.
但今天却比较特别,他发现她正用一块巧克力蛋糕打他的头。
Unable to restrain his curiosity, he rang the doorbell and the woman answere .
他忍不住好奇,便按了那户人家的门铃。
女人听了铃声,出来开门。
"Madam, I couldnt help but notice that every day you beat your child with a loaf of bread. . . "
"这位太太,每天经过这里我都忍不住会注意到你用一条面包打你儿子......"
"Thats true ."
"那倒是不假......"
"And yet today I observed that you were hitting him with a piece of chocolate cake. ,
"可是今天我却看见你用一块巧克力蛋糕打他。
" "Well, todays his birthday. "
"今天是他生日嘛。
"。