雅思大作文批改范例4

雅思大作文批改实录2016雅思大作文批改实录精选雅思考试要想取得好成绩，考生们必须好好复习，为了帮助大家更好的备考，下面是yjbys网店铺提供给大家关于雅思大作文批改实录精选，希望对大家的备考有所帮助。

题目When children make mistakes, they should be punished. Do you think so? How should they be punished?学生习作The issue about punishment on children has always been discussed in these days. From my perspective, I strongly agree with the opinion that punishment can help children realise the difference between right and wrong, although some slight problems still exist.The reason why punishment seems to be a must is that this is one of the most efficient method to teach the kids what is right. By criticizing the children who have done something by mistake, they are aware of the danger or wrong of their behaviours. As a result, children will be afraid of to do such a kind of things, which is of benefit to their future life.Although the advantage of punishment is undoubtedly true, the opponents would argue that it might make the kids feel inferior to others. A good case in point is that if a kid is beaten by their parents in front of his classmates, he will regard it as humiliation. When he is faced with his classmates, he might feel inactive and being separated from his friends, which may lead to long-term mental diseases including depression and anxiety.According to the above words I have said, punishment is necessary while the methods must be chosen carefully. Forexample, kids’ mood must be taken good care of so that he can realise his false. Objective persuasion is recommended while the violent behaviours is banned. Since the aim is to help them grow but notto punish them.To sum up, children are our future so we should pay more attention to our ways of punishment.评分：5.5整体评价：文章基本按照题目要求，完成了题目要求的各项内容。

【Written by Ray in 38 minutes】Nowadays, numerous people claim that humans can do whatever they want to animals. Others, including myself, strongly protest this ridiculous notion.The argument in its favor may involve the recognition that there are no better alternative ways than live animal experiments in carrying out medical research that will benefit researchers greatly, in terms of testing efficiency and overall costs. However, these experiments do bring damages. As a result, a clear line must be drawn somewhere to achieve desired test results on one hand, and to ensure the safety of animals on the other. At least, researchers should at least seek methods on how to alleviate animal’s suffering during their tests. Ideally, a risk evaluation should be conducted by doctors and zoologists before such experiments are performed, which could effectively help to prevent those animals from being killed or tortured.Furthermore, there are various organizations and individuals who are performing cruel operations on live animals to make money, which is completely inhumane. Mostly, such illegal act is implemented in the name of a medical research or an academic exploration. Unfortunately, few of those people are brought to justice because there is no such law in place that can sentence them guilty.In conclusion, it is about time for the entire community to rethink critically and rationally about cruel animal experiments and, measures should be taken. More specifically, a law or some regulations could be made to uphold animals’ right to262 wordsTeacher Kristine ☺。

雅思7分大作文范文批改和解析雅思7分大作范文批改和解析雅思写作提高第一步：结构(5.0 - 5.5)问题：出国留学的优点(the advantages of disadvantages of study abroad)同学：One reason for those who decide to go overseas to get a higher degree is that they believe they can get better education in certain fields. That is to say, different universities in different countries have their specialized courses and rich resources can be provided according to their needs and requirements. Another reason is that they can learn a foreign language in a more efficient way. There is no denying that living in an all-round English environment and being affected by local culture make people quick learners.解析：出国留学和高学历完全是两回事(出去读初中和高中都算出国);出国就是better education，在国内就不是better? 出国留学可不仅仅是上大学，而该同学认为出国留学就是去上大学的(因为她可能就是去上大学的，所以觉得所有人也都如此)，偏激。

此外，第四句论述变成了英语环境了(因为大家都去英语国家，所以主观认为，所有出国的人就是去学英语的)，再次带来了内容偏激。

Some people believe that charity organizations should give the aid to 援助those who are in great needs, while the others think that charity organizations should concentrate on helping people who live in their own country. Discuss both views and give your opinion.Charity organization has never lost its unique power to confuse people and transport them to troubles(?). It is argued that whether the charity organizations should support to people who are in great needs or (to) those who live in their own countries. Personally I believe that charity organizations focus (focusing)on helping their own countries’ people should be considered as the option of last, instead of the first resort.Evidences show that charity organizations to aid people who are in great needs can bring a host of benefits to individuals as well as the whole international society. The charity help(helping) those who need great help can alleviate the increasing social gap between rich and poor, countries’ strong and weak (? ,)which will probably reduce the rate of crimes and build a harmonious world. A case in point is that since the outbreak of the Iraq war the international Red Cross federation is aiming to help nearly one million of the most socially vulnerable people inside (in)Iraq. Specifically, it supports Iraq food, water and medical facilities to help the vulnerable people rebuild their hometown. As far as I am concerned, worldwide charity organizations, which can help people all over the world, will (help to) construct a harmonious wold and reduce the war.However, charities just concentrate (concentrating )on aiding people who live in their own countries seems not work effectively. The radical reason for which(which 改为that, 或是去掉for which) is that it has a limitation on supporting vulnerable people from other countries who suffer from the disasters, which will lead to a complex and dangerous social environment other than in their own country. This will eventually build an inhumane image in the world. A case in point is that in 2011 （after）the Japanese earthquake, Chinese charity organizations sent rescue team s and basic facilities to Japan to save people’s lives. If China did not do like(去掉）this, Chinese reputation would certainly destroyed and our country would be condemned by the international society. In this case, this way should be considered as the option of last.(?) A nation should help other nations regardless of its strength.(结尾的总结是否应该回归到慈善组织呢？）Therefore, I believe that charity organizations should （give)aid to people no matter where they come from, which(since they)are regarded as (the)better solutions to reduce wars and help vulnerable people rebuild their homeland when they went through disasters. According to these ways( Thus), a harmonious international society will be set up. Besides, it will make a progress in ( make great contributions to ) the whole world’s sustainable development.By and large, we can expect that at least the problem about what kinds of peoplecharities should aid can be largely solved by supporting people from all over the world who faces the desperate situation. The more effort put in and the wider (engagements)the whole society involvement( involved in), the more substantial results likely to be. The increase of aiding people who are in great needs and the consequent improvement in people’s happiness is surely a worthwhile objective.总评：首先字数太多，看起来累赘，会导致扣分。

雅思作文批改英语批改雅思作文范文：原文：Nowadays, the issue of whether to give homework to students has sparked a heated debate. Some people believe that homework is an essential part of the learning process, while others argue that it is an unnecessary burden on students. In my opinion, I believe that homework can be beneficial if it is given in moderation and is used as a tool to reinforce learning.Firstly, homework can provide students with the opportunity to review and practice what they have learned in class. This can help to reinforce the concepts andskills that have been taught, and can lead to a deeper understanding of the material. Additionally, homework can also help to develop important study habits and time management skills, which are essential for success inschool and in life.However, it is important to recognize that too much homework can have negative effects on students. Excessive amounts of homework can lead to stress, anxiety, and a lack of sleep, which can have a detrimental impact on students' mental and physical health. Furthermore, if homework is not carefully planned and thoughtfully assigned, it can become a mindless and repetitive task that does not contribute to meaningful learning.In conclusion, while homework can be a valuable toolfor reinforcing learning and developing important skills, it is important that it is given in moderation and is carefully planned. Teachers should consider the individual needs and abilities of their students when assigning homework, and should strive to create assignments that are meaningful and engaging. By doing so, homework can be a beneficial and valuable part of the learning process.批改：Nowadays, the issue of whether to assign homework to students has sparked a heated debate. Some people believe that homework is an essential part of the learning process, while others argue that it is an unnecessary burden on students. In my opinion, I believe that homework can be beneficial if it is given in moderation and is used as a tool to reinforce learning.Firstly, homework can provide students with the opportunity to review and practice what they have learnedin class. This can help to reinforce the concepts andskills that have been taught, and can lead to a deeper understanding of the material. Additionally, homework can also help to develop important study habits and time management skills, which are essential for success in school and in life.However, it is important to recognize that too much homework can have negative effects on students. Excessive amounts of homework can lead to stress, anxiety, and a lack of sleep, which can have a detrimental impact on students' mental and physical health. Furthermore, if homework is notcarefully planned and thoughtfully assigned, it can become a mindless and repetitive task that does not contribute to meaningful learning.In conclusion, while homework can be a valuable toolfor reinforcing learning and developing important skills, it is important that it is given in moderation and is carefully planned. Teachers should consider the individual needs and abilities of their students when assigning homework, and should strive to create assignments that are meaningful and engaging. By doing so, homework can be a beneficial and valuable part of the learning process.改进版：In today's educational landscape, the debate over whether to assign homework to students has become increasingly contentious. While some argue that homework is an essential component of the learning process, others contend that it places an unnecessary burden on students. In my view, I believe that homework can be advantageous if it is assigned in moderation and serves as a tool toreinforce learning.To begin with, homework offers students the opportunity to review and practice the material covered in class. This can help to solidify their understanding of key concepts and skills, leading to a deeper comprehension of the subject matter. Additionally, homework can also foster the development of crucial study habits and time management skills, which are vital for academic success and personal growth.However, it is crucial to acknowledge that an excessive amount of homework can have adverse effects on students. The overwhelming workload can lead to heightened stress, anxiety, and sleep deprivation, all of which can significantly impact students' mental and physical well-being. Moreover, if homework assignments are not thoughtfully planned and tailored to students' needs, they can become mindless and repetitive tasks that do not contribute meaningfully to their learning.In conclusion, while homework can be a valuable toolfor reinforcing learning and cultivating essential skills, it is imperative that it is assigned judiciously and with careful consideration. Educators should take into account the individual needs and abilities of their students when assigning homework, and should strive to create assignments that are meaningful and engaging. By doing so, homework can serve as a beneficial and integral part of the learning process.总结：以上是对原文的改进版本，通过对原文进行修饰和扩展，使得文章更加丰富和生动。

2009年7月11日Some people think that companies and individuals, rather than governments, should pay to clean up pollution that they have caused. To what extent do you agree or disagree with statement?Topics of pollution never fail to arouse people's attention. Many individuals consider it is reasonable for companies and individuals to spend money on deal ing with environment problem that they have made, while other believe that it should be paid by government. Personally, I am in favor of the latter.Although many individuals consider it the responsibility of companies and individuals to clean up to pollution caused by them, I still believe that this should be the duty of the government.Many individuals find it reasonable to require companies and individuals instead of the government to pay for cleaning the pollution that is caused by them. Personally, I do not agree with this opinion.Indeed, there are reasons for people to support oppose to the idea that the cost of cleaning up pollution should be paid by the government. First of all, it is unfair to a part some of the taxpayer s. Not every people pay the same tax every tax payer makes pollution, so it seems unfair to use people’s money to solve the problem that they have not caused. Secondly, the public spend money spending private money on pollution control is beneficial to reducing of pollution. People would sense feel that lots of money should be cost on resolve resolving the problem of environment. So , so they may choice choose less polluting way of living such as the electrical equipment which are does not harm to the environment.However, the opinion of the other side that the government should pay the money sounds more convincing. For one things, the government is responsible for providing citizens with a healthy living environment. Without clean environment, people might get sick, such as cold, headache, fever and so on. Therefore, this situation would be a heavy burden to the social medical services. In addition, using finance to pay this money can be more effective than others. Companies and individuals have many kinds of reasons could not to pay this fee. For instance, they may say that they do not receive the notice or they was are not able to pay it. It will lead to the result that the problem could not be solved in time.To conclude, I firmly believe that the cost of cleaning up pollution should be paid by government. It is the duty of government and it can improve the clean efficiency.。

英语作文批改记录范例及措施**Title: Enhancing English Writing Skills through Effective Correction Strategies**In the realm of language learning, the art of writingis often considered a critical skill. English, being a globally recognized language, holds immense importance in academic, professional, and personal contexts. Therefore,it's imperative for learners to master the intricacies of English writing. This article aims to discuss the importance of essay correction, provide examples of English essay correction records, and suggest practical measures to enhance writing skills.**Essay Correction: Its Importance and Impact**Essay correction plays a pivotal role in the writing process. It not only helps identify errors but also encourages self-reflection and improvement. Through correction, writers can gain insights into their strengths and weaknesses, allowing them to refine their writing style and techniques. Corrective feedback can be highlybeneficial in areas such as grammar, vocabulary, sentence structure, and overall coherence.**Examples of English Essay Correction Records**Let's consider two examples of English essays with correction records to illustrate the process:**Example 1:****Original Sentence:** "The importance of education cannot be underestimate."**Corrected Sentence:** "The importance of education cannot be underestimated."**Correction Notes:*** Verb tense: "cannot be underestimate" should be changed to "cannot be underestimated" to maintain consistency with the tense of the main verb. * Spelling: "underestimate" is spelled correctly.**Example 2:****Original Sentence:** "In my opinion, technology has both advantages and disadvantages, but I think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages."**Corrected Sentence:** "In my opinion, technology has both advantages and disadvantages, but I believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages."**Correction Notes:*** Vocabulary: "I think" has been replaced with "I believe" to enhance the formality and sophistication of the sentence. * Grammar: The sentence maintains correct grammar and sentence structure.**Measures to Enhance English Writing Skills**To enhance English writing skills, learners can adopt the following measures:1. **Regular Practice:** Consistent practice is key to improving writing skills. Writing regularly, even if it's just for a few minutes each day, can help improve fluency, vocabulary, and grammar.2. **Feedback and Revision:** Seeking feedback from teachers, peers, or online writing communities can be invaluable. Use this feedback to revise your work, focusing on areas that need improvement.3.**Reading for Pleasure:** Reading a wide range of materials, including novels, newspapers, and online articles, can helpyou expand your vocabulary, improve your grammar, and enhance your understanding of sentence structure and flow.4. **Using Writing Tools:** Leverage technology to enhance your writing skills. Use writing tools like grammar checkers, dictionaries, and thesauruses to improve the quality of your writing.5. **Setting Goals:** Setting clear and achievable writing goals can help you stay motivated and focused on improving your writing skills.In conclusion, essay correction is a crucial aspect of English writing. By understanding the importance of correction, examining examples of correction records, and implementing practical measures to enhance writing skills, learners can make significant progress in their English writing abilities. With regular practice, feedback, and dedication, anyone can achieve proficiency in English writing.。

英语作文批改范文Title: The Importance of Environmental Protection。

Environmental protection is a topic that is receiving increasing attention worldwide. With the rapid development of industry and the continuous expansion of urbanization, the environment has been seriously polluted, and the ecological balance has been disrupted. Therefore, it is of great importance to protect the environment.First and foremost, environmental protection is necessary for the survival of all living beings on the planet. The air we breathe, the water we drink, and the food we eat all come from the environment. If the environment is polluted and damaged, it will directly threaten our health and survival. For example, airpollution can lead to respiratory diseases, water pollution can cause gastrointestinal diseases, and soil pollution can affect the quality and safety of agricultural products. Therefore, protecting the environment is protectingourselves.Moreover, environmental protection is crucial for the sustainable development of human society. The earth's resources are limited, and the environment has a self-purification ability. If we continue to exploit and pollute the environment without any restraint, it will eventually lead to resource depletion and ecological collapse, which will seriously affect the sustainable development of human society. Therefore, protecting the environment is not only a responsibility to ourselves, but also a responsibility to future generations.In addition, environmental protection is closely related to the conservation of biodiversity. The earth is home to countless species, and each species plays a unique role in maintaining the balance of the ecosystem. However, due to human activities such as deforestation, overfishing, and poaching, many species are facing the threat of extinction. If the loss of biodiversity continues, it will have a negative impact on the stability and sustainability of the ecosystem. Therefore, protecting the environment isalso protecting the diversity of life on earth.To achieve effective environmental protection, it is necessary to take a series of measures. First, we should strengthen environmental education and raise public awareness of environmental protection. People need to understand the importance of the environment and their own responsibilities in protecting it. Second, we should establish and improve environmental laws and regulations to regulate and restrict human activities that may harm the environment. Third, we should promote the development and application of green technologies to reduce pollution and improve resource utilization. Finally, we should encourage international cooperation and coordination to address global environmental issues.In conclusion, environmental protection is of great significance for the survival and development of human society. It is not only a responsibility to ourselves, but also a responsibility to future generations and the entire planet. Therefore, we should all take action to protect theenvironment and build a beautiful and sustainable world for ourselves and our descendants.。

Topic:【Written by Ray】In this day and age, water scarcity has become a severe issue in almost every country all around the world, which is drawing an increasing attention from the authorities and is imposing negative impacts on people’s life. In this essay, I would be analyzing the reasons behind this occurrence and propose corresponding solution.The modern society may be the first to be blamed. The scientific and technical b reakthroughs have dramatically changed people’s lifestyle, which turns the world into a huge factory with numerous machines running all day in order to meet the society’s demand for various kinds of products. As a result, enormous amount of water is needed since almost every producing procedure involves water, used either as original material or for flushing purpose. Furthermore, there are numerous enterprises that do not only attempt to conserve water, but also immorally pollute the precious resource. Consequently, water is facing the threat of being wasted or being poisoned, which makes the situation even worse.Both the governments and the enterprises should hold responsibilities and take immediate action to preserve water. That is to say that Governments could contribute by raising public awareness of water preservation and water conservation and, by putting high taxes on those companies who are unwilling to improve their waste treatment facilities. As for the entrepreneurs, it is about time for them to pay more attention to the environment rather than to the profit. By improving product-lines and setting up water recycle systems, those factories can play an important part in this process as well.In conclusion, I believe that the modern society and the modern industry are responsible for water scarcity, and, that the governments, the enterprises and the individuals all should spare no efforts in preserving and conserving water resource.286 wordsTeacher Kristine。

小黑雅思作文批改样文欣赏Task: Millions of people every year move to English-speaking countries such as Australia, Britain or America, In order to study at school, college or university. Why do so many people want to study in English? Why is English such an important international language?According to a latest official statistics by CHINA government, there have been millions of people to attend the mainstream ,International English language tests such as IELTS, TOFEL and GRE for getting their study opportunity in commonware countries or USA every year in china , improve their English language level furtherly and their main purpose, the English speaking countries is to improve their English language ability furthly by daily English-speaking with native English speaker, and it seems that the trend will become even more popular in future and It is quite necessary for us to learn what cause it.English as a only common language in the whole world are widely used in recording the famous or castes knowledge and technology with better English language ability, people can benefit more and broaden their horizons more by learning may different opinions different cultures. In addition, To snatch with the more and more tough global competition, English language ability has become an must capability for good occupations when companies recruit the new employees.Further more, what make English language such powerful and can be an international language. I believe the root factor is from the huge economic gap between Britain and other countries in the period when our ancestor over planning to choose one language as the common international language to solve global communication and trading problems. At that Britain was the most powerful country in the world and the country owned the most latest andadvanced knowledge and technology, So it happen naturaly that English had become the really international language, After hundreds of years that acculatingsEnglish has become so popular in all the world no other languages can competeHowever advocating English spearing all over the world can also takes some clraubacks the severe ohe is the country which depend on English speak too much may lead them losing their own language, and then losing their national charoteristic and culture.So the country should balance the advantages and disadvantages of launching English-speaking, and do the decision with great care.Task: In many countries schools have server problem with student behavior, what do think are the cause of this are the cause of this? What solution can suggest?It’s quite common these days for most schools in a lot of countries to be suffered with the problems of student behavior, even more. It seems the problem has arisen to a severe degree that we have to acquire what cause it and what kinds of measures should be taken to control or eliminate it as soon as possibleThe essential factor of this trend is led by the characteristic of students them selves. At that age Researchers are telling us that the children with the age from 6 years old to 18 years one trending to do some behaviors against their teachers or parents to catch the peer’s eyes or present their personality then whatever their teachers or parents advocate, they tend to do the opposite the take more and more students behavior’s problems in the schools Meanwhile, the mass media in the society are sometimes giring the good examples for them to follow against Their teachers and parents, as most of us aware, there are many obscene or violent contents offered on world wide web or our daily TV programs or films and most of these contents are very easily reached by children. It is the current mass media who mislead children to behavior problem at a significant degree.About the solutions, the immediate one should be taken is government need to work out a series of measures to protect the children from negative contents of mass media, such as sorting out the moss media especially internet in different watching or reading levels, then parents can do the effective supervision when children watch or read them. At long term, teacher should enhance their patience and consciousness to do heart-to-heart communication with students,and school is necessary initiative to introduce some subject to help students cross the special life period safely and healthily.作文点评：1、长句容易出现有头无尾，或者没有主语、谓语的情况；2、一些词汇的常见用法和搭配不当；3、对于一些熟悉的句型，并不熟知它的使用套路，需要勤加训练。

雅思英文作文批改I have always been a big fan of traveling. Exploring new places, meeting new people, and trying new foods are some of the things that excite me the most. Traveling allows me to break free from my routine and experience life in a different way.One of my favorite destinations is Japan. The unique blend of traditional culture and modern technology never fails to fascinate me. From the bustling streets of Tokyo to the serene temples in Kyoto, Japan offers a wide range of experiences for travelers. And let's not forget about the delicious sushi and ramen that are a must-try!Another destination that holds a special place in my heart is Italy. The rich history, stunning architecture, and mouthwatering cuisine make Italy a dream destinationfor many. Whether it's exploring the ruins of Rome,cruising along the canals of Venice, or indulging in gelato in Florence, there is something for everyone in Italy.Traveling has taught me valuable lessons about the world and myself. It has opened my eyes to different cultures, traditions, and ways of life. It has also helped me step out of my comfort zone and embrace new challenges. Overall, traveling has enriched my life in ways I never thought possible.In conclusion, traveling is not just about visiting new places, it's about experiencing life in a whole new way.It's about stepping out of your comfort zone and immersing yourself in different cultures. So pack your bags, book a ticket, and embark on an adventure of a lifetime. You won't regret it!。

雅思作文批改英语Absolutely, here's a sample of how to correct an IELTS essay:Original Paragraph:In today's world, technology plays a vital role in our lives. It has made our lives easier and more convenient. For instance, we can use the internet to find information quickly and easily. Also, we can use smartphones to communicate with our friends and family. This is why I believe that technology is very important for us.Corrected Paragraph:In the contemporary era, technology has become an integral component of our existence, significantly enhancing the quality and convenience of our daily routines. For example, the internet serves as a powerful tool for instantaneously accessing a wealth of information. Additionally, smartphones have revolutionized the way we maintain contact with our loved ones, facilitating communication across vast distances. Consequently, I am of the opinion that the significance of technology in our lives cannot be overstated.Corrections and Justifications:1. Word Choice: Replaced "today's world" with "contemporary era" for a more formal tone. "Vital role" was changed to "integral component" to convey a stronger sense of importance.2. Sentence Structure: Varied sentence structures to improve the flow and readability of the paragraph. For example, "It has made our lives easier and more convenient" was split into two sentences to clarify the benefits of technology.3. Grammar: Corrected the verb tense consistency by changing "plays" to "has become" to match the past participle "enhanced".4. Clarity and Detail: Added specific examples such as "instantaneously accessing a wealth of information" and "facilitating communication across vast distances" to provide clear evidence of how technology enhances our lives.5. Concluding Statement: Strengthened the concluding opinionby using "the significance of technology in our lives cannotbe overstated" instead of a simpler "very important for us".Remember, when correcting an IELTS essay, it's crucial tofocus on enhancing the coherence, vocabulary, grammar, and overall structure of the essay to better align with the expectations of the IELTS scoring criteria.。

雅思作文大面积修改英文回答：I have noticed that you have been making significant revisions to your IELTS essays. While it is important to proofread and make corrections, excessive revisions can hinder your progress and limit your ability to perform well in the exam. Here are some tips to help you strike a balance between necessary revisions and over-editing:Identify Areas for Improvement: Before making any changes, carefully assess your essay and identify specific areas that need attention. Focus on improving language accuracy, grammar, vocabulary, and content organization.Use Feedback Effectively: Utilize feedback from your instructor or other trusted sources to pinpoint areas where you can enhance your writing. Take constructive criticism seriously and strive to learn from your mistakes.Proofread Thoroughly: After completing your essay, set it aside for a while and return to it later with a fresh perspective. Carefully proofread your work, checking for any errors in grammar, spelling, or punctuation.Avoid Over-Editing: While it is essential to correct errors, avoid making unnecessary changes that alter the flow or content of your essay. Excessive revisions can disrupt your writing rhythm and lead to unnatural language.Trust Your Skills: Once you have made necessary revisions, have confidence in your writing ability. Don't overthink your essay or second-guess your choices. Remember that you have prepared extensively and possess the skills to succeed in the exam.Practice Makes Perfect: The more you practice writing essays, the more comfortable and efficient you will become at identifying and correcting errors. Regular practice will also help you develop a strong sense of language andwriting mechanics.Time Management: It is crucial to manage your time effectively during the exam. Allocate sufficient time for writing, proofreading, and making any necessary revisions. Avoid spending excessive time on minor details that do not significantly impact your overall score.Remember, the goal is not to produce a perfect essay but to demonstrate your English proficiency within the constraints of the exam. By following these tips, you can strike a balance between necessary revisions and over-editing, enabling you to perform to the best of your ability.中文回答：注意：请注意以下几点：保持文章流畅性，不要一段中文一段英文，请将两种语言的回答连贯地融合在一篇文章中。

雅思作文批改评语篇一：雅思大作文范文：学生给老师评语manypeoplearguedthatinordertoimproveeducationalqualitycontinuously,st udentsareencouragedtomakecommentsorevencriticismonteachers.othersth inktherespectanddisciplineintheclassroomwilldisappear.whichopiniondoy ouprefer?participation Teacherappraisalisnotanewinstrumentinimprovingteachingperformanceor developingteachertraining.However,whenitcomestoinvitingtheinputofstud entsandseekingtheircommentsonteachers’performance,thereisdisagreement.Somepeopleobjecttothispractice,sayingt hatitleadstothelossofrespectanddiscipline.inmyopinion,students’participationinteacherappraisalisdefinitelyhelpful,butitshouldbeadminister edproperly.whenitcomesto+n./doing,thereisanongoingdebate. astrongargumentforusingstudentratingstoevaluateteachersisthatstudents’judgementisreliableandimpartial.Becauseoftheirongoinginteractionwithte achersthroughoutthesemester,studentshavetheauthoritytomeasuretheperfor manceandcompetenceofateacher,withtheknowledgetheyhaveobtainedfromlearningandthestance/attitudetheyhaveadoptedtowardthesubjecttaught.acriticalanalysisofstudent s’feedbackenablesteacherstoenhancetheircompetenceandadjustteachingaims andmethodsforbetterattainmentofstudents’learningobjectives. Studentsarealsoconcernedaboutwhethertheteacherisfullycommittedtohisor herjob.Thevalueofateacherisdeterminedasmuchbycompetenceasbycommit ment.Theschoolcanthereforeassesstheperformanceofateacherbycollectings tudents’feedbackonsomeobservablefacts,suchasateacher’spunctualityandthelegibilityofhisorherwritingontheboard.Teacherswhoper formpoorlyareadvisedtoreflectdeeplyontheirteachingpractice,thedrawback sinparticular,whichisthekeytotheimprovementoftheirperformance. despitethoseovertadvantagesofencouragingstudents’input,analysisoftheirinputisimportantandshouldbehandledcarefully.misint erpretationofstudents’opinionmightleaveteachersaninaccuratepictureoftheirstrengthsandweakne ssesandleadthemintoapoorjudgementaboutwhattheycandotosatisfytheneed softheirstudents.itisalsoimportanttoguideteacherstoperceivethefeedbackse nsibly;otherwise,theymighthavefeelingsofpowerlessness. whathasbeendiscussedistosupportanotionthatstudents’inputprovidesanimportantsourceofdataforevaluatingteachers,helpingteachersnotonlytodiscovertheirdisadvantagesbutalsotomakeanimprovement. objectto=disapprove反对argument=reason=justification观点理由impartial=objective=unbiased=unprejudiced客观的Stance=attitude=position观点看法committed=devoted投入的敬业的commitment=dedication=devotion投入敬业observable=apparent明显的Punctuality=timekeeping准时守时Legibility=readability清晰性易读性Reflecton=meditateon=thinkover反思inaccurate=imprecise=incorrect不准确的Sensibly=wisely=prudently聪明地，理智地，谨慎地Powerlessness=lackofauthority没有权威篇二：雅思6分大作文考官评语Eventhoughdoctorsallovertheworldagreethatfastfoodisbadforpeople’shealth,moreandmorepeopleareeatingit. whyarepeopleeatingfastfood? whatcanbedoneaboutthisproblem? Unfortunatelyastheworldgoesonimprovingpeoplemoreandmoreareeagerto havefastfoods.it’snowakindofhabitforkidsandalsoadultstospenttheirleisuretimeatfastfoodrestaurants.onmyopiniononeofthemajorreasonofusingfastfoodsinmanycount riesistheshortageoftimethatpeoplefacewith.itshouldbeinvestigatedproperly tosolvethissubject. asamatteroffactnowadayspeopleinallovertheworldoughttoworkoutdoorsm orethanbefore.Youknowthatlivingexpensesaresohighthatspousesshouldwo rktogetherinordertogainmore.Thereforetheyhavelittletimetospendoncooki ng. anotherreasonisthegreatadvertisementswhichbeingdonebyTVprogramsor magazines,temptingeverybodytousefastfood.now,parentsarepayingmoreattentiontotheirchildren’sneedsregardlessofhowmuchlogicallytheyare.Theyareabouttoprovidetheir needsevenifchildrenareaddictedtotakefastfoodsorso. Youknowthatobesity,highcholestrol,diabetesandlazinessaresomeoutcomes offastfood,andifitisneglected,mayleadtoseriousproblems. ithinknutritionexpertsareexpectedtooffermorewarningprogramstopeopleab ernmentshouldspendaspecialbudgetongivingpeoplesom esolutionsaboutthissubjects.Forexamplemakinganimationprogramsbearin gwarningmessagesforthechildrenisonewaytomakethemawareofit’sfate.orcookingprogramswhichlearnhowtoprepareahealthyfoodinshorttim eseemedtobeusefulinsolvingthisproblem.inconclusion,itneedstoplanaseriousplanandspendmoretimeandbudgettofin dawayonsolvingtheperilofitswidespread.ihopeeverypersonwouldbemorecarefulabouthisorherhealt hespeciallyonnutritioncase.Examinercomments Bothpartsofthequestionareaddressedinthisresponse,andthecontentisapprop riateforthetopic.Thewriter’spositionisclear,andthereareplentyofrelevantideaswhicharedevelopedands upported.Thesearearrangedinanorganisedway,andparagraphingishelpfully used,sothattheresponseasawholegenerallyprogressescoherentlytotheconcl usion.Thereareerrorsinwordchoiceandspelling,buttherangeofvocabularyis quitewideandincludessomelesscommonwordswhichspecificallyrelatetothe topic.withregardtothegrammar,thereisamixofsentencetypes,buterrorsoccur withplurals,prepositions,wordorderandpunctution,andwithpassivesandver bsincomplexstructures.篇三：雅思6.5分作文示例Populationaging,whichhasmadeitdifficultformanycompaniestorecruiteligi bleyoungemployees,pushespeopletorethinkwhethercompulsoryretirement hasbeenout-of-date.inmyopinion,weshouldabolishthisregulationandcreate moreflexiblelegalarticlesinstead,toprotectthebenefitsofbothworkersandem ployers. oneofthereasonsisthatmandatoryretirementresultsinahugewasteofhumanre sources.Peopledifferininnatetalents,physicalconditionsandcareertypes,soa unifiedrequirementfortheirretiringagewillprobablypreventthemfromcontinuallycontributingtothesociety.Forexample,anelderprestigiousprofessorwill berequiredtostopworkingwhenhereachestheageforretirement,nomatterhow wellhisbodyfunctionisandhowenthusiasticofhimtocommittohisjob.itiscoun terproductiveforhimtorealizepotentialtotheutmostandachieveasenseofacco mplishment,therebycausingawasteofhisknowledgeandintelligence. Thisregulationislikelytoleadtoskillsgapinmanycorporationsandendwiththe shortfallofcapital.Thisisparticularlythecaseforcompaniesinhigh-technolog yarea,inwhichthemanagerneedstospend lotsofmoneyandeffortonrecruitingandtrainingnewworkersaftertheoldstuffr etire,especiallywhenyoungtalentsaremoreandmoredifficulttofindunderthea gingtrend.consequently,thelowerqualityofworkoutputsatthemeantimewille xertadetrimentaleffectontheirfinancialpowerandcompetitiveness. Somepeoplemayarguethatifthemandatoryretirementisabolished,thebenefit sthatemployeesareendowedwithwillbeeasilydisregarded.itispossibleforthe mtosufferfromlaborexploitationofgreedysuperiors,andberequiredtotakelar geamountofworkloadstomaximizecompanies’interests.asaresult,theyaredeprivedthechanceofenjoyingthehappinessoffam ilyreunionandareatgreaterrisksofsickness.inmymind,however,thisconcernc anbeaddressedthroughspecificlegislation,likesettingrulesspecializedinlabo r-incentiveworks,butintellectualworksshouldbeinthesamecase. assuggestedabove,consideringthepotentialdamageswhicharebroughtbyco mpulsoryretirement,itshouldbeabolished.。

2009年7月11日Some people think that companies and individuals, rather than governments, should pay to clean up pollution that they have caused. To what extent do you agree or disagree with statement?Topics of pollution never fail to arouse people's attention. Many individuals consider it is reasonable for companies and individuals to spend money on deal ing with environment problem that they have made, while other believe that it should be paid by government. Personally, I am in favor of the latter.Although many individuals consider it the responsibility of companies and individuals to clean up to pollution caused by them, I still believe that this should be the duty of the government.Many individuals find it reasonable to require companies and individuals instead of the government to pay for cleaning the pollution that is caused by them. Personally, I do not agree with this opinion.Indeed, there are reasons for people to support oppose to the idea that the cost of cleaning up pollution should be paid by the government. First of all, it is unfair to a part some of the taxpayer s. Not every people pay the same tax every tax payer makes pollution, so it seems unfair to use people’s money to solve the problem that they have not caused. Secondly, the public spend money spending private money on pollution control is beneficial to reducing of pollution. People would sense feel that lots of money should be cost on resolve resolving the problem of environment. So , so they may choice choose less polluting way of living such as the electrical equipment which are does not harm to the environment.However, the opinion of the other side that the government should pay the money sounds more convincing. For one things, the government is responsible for providing citizens with a healthy living environment. Without clean environment, people might get sick, such as cold, headache, fever and so on. Therefore, this situation would be a heavy burden to the social medical services. In addition, using finance to pay this money can be more effective than others. Companies and individuals have many kinds of reasons could not to pay this fee. For instance, they may say that they do not receive the notice or they was are not able to pay it. It will lead to the result that the problem could not be solved in time.To conclude, I firmly believe that the cost of cleaning up pollution should be paid by government. It is the duty of government and it can improve the clean efficiency.。

These days, there is growing trend that people have to face to many environment problems all over the world. Many researchers hold the opinion that in battle with against environmental problems, government and international enterprise should play a key pole in the problems. So in light of this, these researcher contend that the authority and large enterprise can contribute to solve these problems, rather than ordinary people. There are still people who consider that the form of government cooperate with companies aren’t the only way to protect environment. For my view, individual person also have an important part to play in combating environment problems.Nowadays, environment problems go far beyond the abilities of or ordinary people. Obviously, government and large enterprises efforts is not only desirable, but also invaluable. In this issue, the central authority and large companies is supposed to establish a supporting monitoring and feedback mechanism. In additional, the local government should identify the problem, formulate the policies in regard to how to curb the environment. The major reason is that large corporations can finance advanced technology that effectively reduces environmental damage. As a result, measures from government level and enterprises are more effective, especially dealing with such problems as desertification, sand storm and industrial sewage.It does not necessarily mean that individual persons no longer have anything to do with environment problems. For one thing, individual persons also play a crucial role in that if everyone does a small part, then together we can achieve a lot. For another thing, if we all start with small things such as recycling plastics and saving water and electrically or Use public transport to reduce emissions of private cars, then the tasks that the country as a whole faces will be a lot easier. Finally, students or teachers and every citizens should feel they have been involved in the policy, which needs to be disseminated and implemented effectively by every people. Without the public cooperation, the environment policies that formulated by the government can hardly be implemented, nor can achieve the effect.Therefore, the best way, if there is one, is that we deal with environment problems at both individual and international levels.。

雅思大作文5.5分到7分需要做哪些修改？丨附精改详解“各位烤鸭们大家好今天给大家带来【雅思作文修改】栏目的第四期前三期内容回顾请戳第一期：雅思写作题材解析及习作修改-犯罪类第二期：如何完成从6.5分到7.5分的逆袭第三期：5.5分雅思大作文如何逆袭6.5分?本栏目提供学生习作由唐伟胜老师进行批改和评析充分指出问题所在帮助大家巧妙避开吧“雷点”实现“分”的飞跃建议大家仔细阅读一定会大有收获哦比心❤Task 2题目“The leaders or directors of organizations are often older people. But some people say that young people can also be a leader. To what extent do you agree or disagree?”本期学生习作原文The concept of leadership is still built so much on age. It assumed that with age comes wisdom, whereas many forward-thinking tech companies require is youthful energy, knowledge and enthusiasm. To my mind, young people can be leaders aslong as they are great ones.According to a study conducted by leadership development consultancy, young leaders are rated significantly more than their old counterparts in several aspects. Young people are constantly looking for new ways to work smarter and produce higher-quality work. It is possibly a result of having less attachment to the past compared to the old people. So they are always trying to improve. Meanwhile, they are more inspiring. When it comes to motivating others to do their best work, young leaders often lead by pulling while old people by pushing, which turns out to be less acceptable and effective for the receivers. Additionally, young people are more open to the novelty. They tend to welcome new ideas and put them into action to testify if they will be workable or not.Furthermore, the newly-rising and increasing talented and young entrepreneurs mean a shift to younger leadership. It is unnecessary to wait until the age of 50 to run a company or employ staff now. Some young people are seizing the day and contributing its great part to the society. For example, Mark Zuckerberg, started the Facebook when he was still in University and now becomes CEO of the big company at such young age, less than 30. We have every reason to believe that leadership is not defined and evidenced by older age.Admittedly, young people will encounter some barriers being a leader. Young people are regarded as less-experienced and consequently, which may lead to the distrust of their judgment from older employees. Anyway, what makes a great leader? Certainly not age, in this sense, we could welcome young leaders in every field.修改建议能用语言表达自己的观点，逻辑清晰，结构合理，词汇相对丰富，举例论述非常生动。