UNIT 1：What is Friendship
友谊的真谛
When we approach the notion of friendship, our first problem is that there is a lack of socially acknowledged criteria for what makes a person a friend. In one setting, we may describe someone as a friend; in another, the label may seem less appropriate. Therefore, people tend to have a very thin understanding of what friendship really means. To help us understand what friendship really means, we need to review some classical views of friendship.
我们探讨友谊这个概念时，遇到的第一个问题是，没有社会公认的择友标准。在某一情境下，我们会把某个人称为朋友；然而，情境一旦变迁，朋友这个称呼就显得没那么贴切了。因此，人们对友谊的真谛的理解往往是非常肤浅的。为了帮助我们理解友谊的真正含义，我们需要回顾有关友谊的几种传统的看法。
One classical view of friendship is provided by Aristotle, the famous ancient Greek philosopher. Aristotle distinguishes between what he believes to be genuine friendships and two other forms: one based on mutual usefulness, the other on pleasure. So, according to Aristotle, we may find three kinds of friendship:
一种传统的友谊观在古希腊著名的哲学家亚里士多德的著作里得以阐述。他将自己心目中真正的友谊同另外两种友谊截然分开。这两种友谊分别是：基于互利的友谊；基于愉悦的友谊。因此，根据亚里士多德的观点，我们可以将友谊分为三类：
Friendship based on utility. Utility is an impermanent thing: it changes according to circumstances. When the ground for friendship disappears, the friendship also breaks up. Friendships of this kind seem to occur most frequently between the elderly, because at their age what they want is not pleasure but utility. Friendships based on utility are also frequently found among those in middle or early life who are pursuing their own advantage. Such persons do not spend much time together, because sometimes they do not even like one another, and therefore feel no need of such an association unless they are mutually useful. They take pleasure in each other's company only in so far as they have hopes of advantage from it.
|建立在功利之上的友谊。|功利并非永恒，它依照环境而变化。友谊的根基一旦消失，友谊也随之破灭。这类友谊似乎在老人之间最为常见，因为上了年纪的人需要的不是愉悦而是实用。基于功利的友谊也同样存在于追逐个人利益的中年人和青年人中。这些人不会在一起消磨时光，因为他们有时甚至不喜欢对方，因而觉得除非可以互相利用，否则没有交往的必要。只有当他们认为彼此有希望相互利用的时 候，才会乐于呆在一起。
Friendship based on pleasure. Friendship between the young is thought to be groun
ded on pleasure, because the lives of the young are r
egulated by their feelings, and their chief interests are in their own pleasure and the opportunity of the moment. As they grow up, however, their tastes change too, so that they are quick to make and to break friendships. That is why they fall in and out of friendship quickly, changing their attitude often, even within the same day.
|建立在愉悦之上的友谊。|年轻人之间的友谊常被看作是建立在愉悦基础之上的，因为年轻人的生活受感情支配，他们感兴趣的主要是自己的快乐和眼前的重要机会。然而，他们的情趣随着自己日渐成长也会变化，他们交友容易，分手也干脆。年轻人的态度变化无常，甚至一日数变，难怪他们的友谊总是迅速地开始，又匆匆地结束。
Friendship based on goodness. Perfect friendship is based on goodness. Only the friendship of those who are good, and similar in their goodness, is perfect. The conduct of good men is the same or similar. It is between good men that both love and friendship are chiefly found and in the highest form. Such friendships are rare and they need time and intimacy; for as the saying goes, true friends must go through trials and tribulations together. And no two persons can accept each other and become friends until each has proved to the other that he is worthy of love, and so won his trust. The wish for friendship may develop rapidly, but true friendship does not.
|建立在美德之上的友谊。|完美无瑕的友谊立足于美 德。只有那些品德高尚而且拥有相似美德的人之间建立的友谊才是最完美的。品行高尚的人，其行为是相同的，或者是类似的。爱和友谊多半在品行高尚的人之间发生，而且以最高雅的形式出现。这种友谊是罕见的，需要时间，需要交 往。常言道，真正的朋友必须同甘共苦，历经风雨。只有当两个人互相证明自己值得爱并获得对方的信任之后，彼此方能接受对方为朋友。交友的意愿可能倏忽而至，但真正的友谊却要慢慢培养。
Another classical view of friendship can be found in the writings of Cicero, an ancient Roman statesman and orator. According to Cicero, true friendship is only possible between good men. He further defines "the good" as "those whose actions and lives leave no question as to their honor, purity, equity, and liberality; who are free from greed, lust, and violence; and who have the courage of their convictions." The friendship between good men, based on virtue, does offer material benefits, but it does not seek them. All human beings are bonded together in a community of shared reason. Therefore, in friendships and relationships, those who possess any superiority must regard themselves as equals of those who are less fortunate. It is virtue that creates and preserves true
friendship.
另一种传统的友谊观可以在古罗马政治家、演说家西塞罗的著作里找到。西塞罗认
为，真正的友谊只能在好人之间发生。他进而将“好人”定义为“那些行为和生活无损于自己的荣誉、纯洁、公平和开明的人；那些摆脱了贪婪、欲念和暴力的人；那些敢于依照自己的信念说话和做事的人。”好人之间建立的这种友谊立足于美德，它确实可以带来物质利益，但决不以追求物质利益为目标。人类生活在以共同的理想为基础的社会。因此，在处理朋友关系和其他人际关系 时，优越于他人的人必须平等地对待那些没那么幸运的人。美德创造友谊，美德使友谊之树常青。
Thus, we may see that the traditional idea of friendship is made up of three components: Friends must enjoy each other's company; they must be useful to one another; and they must share a commitment to the good. According to the classical views, virtuous friends are bound together, as they recognize each other's moral excellence. To perceive a friend, therefore, is to perceive oneself; and to know a friend is to know oneself. Each can be said to provide a mirror in which the other may see himself. Through networks of such virtuous friends, we can develop a shared idea of the good and pursue it together. Friendship of this kind is permanent, because in it are united all the attributes that friends ought to possess.
我们由此可以看出，传统的友谊观由三个要素构成：朋友以相伴为乐；朋友必须彼此受益；彼此都有志于崇高的事业。这些传统的友谊观告诉我们，两个品德高尚的朋友是永不分离的，因为彼此认同对方的高尚品德。因此，认识朋友就是认识自我，了解朋友就是了解自我。可以说朋友就好比是一面镜子，每个人都可以从朋友身上看清自己。置身于品德高尚的朋友之中，我们会对美德达成共识，共同为之不遗余力。这样的友谊是永恒的，因为朋友应该具备的一切品质都凝结在这种友谊关系中。